Getting clear about what you truly desire, admitting what’s no longer right for you, and finally being truthful with yourself is intensely clarifying, liberating work. But it’s not always fun.

In fact, “waking up” can sometimes feel more like agony than the supposed ecstasy it promises. Because once that light bulb pops on — and suddenly you can see everything for what it really is — monolithic waves of panic, defeat, grief, remorse, and regret inevitably start crashing down.

• “I’m already too late.”
  
• “I’ve made a mess of everything.”
  
• “I’m a fuck up.”
  
• "They'll never forgive me."
• “I missed my chance.”
  
• “Why didn’t I see the truth sooner?”
  
• “Why didn’t I do something sooner?”
  

I’ve been in this position more times than I can count. It feels awful, to the point where I sometimes wished to return to my previous state of ignorance. Because if the result of seeking truth was this? Pain. Guilt. Helplessness. No moves forward. No thank you. What’s the point?

Then, last summer, Derek said something to me that forever changed how I contextualize the pain that can accompany those wake-up calls.

Quick sidebar: People have always assumed Derek and I are brother and sister because we look alike, act alike, and bicker constantly. We even have the same middle name, which is ... odd. So, if you hear me talking about my "brother," this obstinate asshole is who I'm talking about.

Anyway, in front of Bradley International Airport in Hartford, Connecticut, almost exactly one year ago, Derek gripped my shoulders and said to me:

"You're exactly where you're supposed to be, Liz. You're right on time."

I tried to believe him. I really, really wanted to. But my divorce, along with the endless list of mistakes I'd made over the past five years were still too fresh in my mind. I couldn't see things clearly. 

But now I understand how right he was ... for all of us.

See, you're also exactly where you're supposed to be. Like me, you're right on time. Yes, the pain you're feeling right now (due to whatever regret is hovering over your heart) is trying to tell you something — but not what you think. 

Your pain isn't here to rub your face in your missed opportunities and everything you've done wrong. Your pain is trying to tell you, "This is your do-over. This is your second chance!"

If "back then" had been the right time, you would have taken action. But you weren't ready. Now you are. Don’t regret that it took you so long to get here, wherever that "here" may be. This journey took exactly as long as it needed to take. 

You are only standing where you are right now, knowing what you know, feeling what you’re feeling, loving who you're loving, and chasing what you're chasing because of every single step you took to get to this moment. 

Instead of dwelling on everything you "should have done," maybe you should ask yourself what makes now the perfect time? Do you possess more clarity, conviction, and confidence? Are you more mature? Are you more appreciative? Are you more open to what it truly means to love and be loved in return? Are you more deeply connected to your commitment or your vision?

What you're feeling right now is your reward for having done the work — so, let go of the guilt, and start running toward what you want. And when you get there, say: "I'm sorry I took so long. But I can't wait to tell you the incredible story of how we got here."

No matter what you think you've done wrong, or how late you believe yourself to be, I need you to trust me. You are worthy. You are deserving of whatever it is your heart desires. Most of all, you're not too late. But now that your eyes are open, you have work to do. It’s time grab this second chance with both hands.

Say what needs to be said. Do what needs to be done. And never look back. Your future isn't behind you, it's in front of you. So, what are you waiting for?

🌟 How to Make Hard Decisions Easier

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