You see, when what you want shows up and knocks on your door, it does so with the demand of absolute acceptance of what it is, as it is — you get no say over its size, its shape, its form, its timeline, its breadth, its depth, its scale.
You want true love and blinding passion? Here it is.
You want divine inspiration and the revealing of your purpose? Here it is.
You want answers to the deepest questions in your heart? Here they are.
It feels like a final test of sorts. Do you really want what you say you want? Are you willing to humble yourself and be humbled by what it is you seek or the answers you've so desperately been hunting for? Are you willing to give away that control you're clutching so fiercely to your chest and say, "I accept you as you are, because you are what I want"?
Or will you choose safety and control over what it is you say you truly desire?
You don’t experience a great love. You are humbled by a great love.
You don’t experience inspiration. You are humbled by inspiration.
You don’t experience pure joy. You are humbled by pure joy.
You don’t experience the divine. You are humbled by the divine.
Humility, surrender, and relinquishing your need for control ... these are your only tools to bring what you want within reach. You must let go of your expectations and demands and requirements in order to receive.
Not everything has to be a war. You don't need to battle and scrape and tear your way toward every victory, every moment in the light. Let it be soft. Let it be easy. You can simply leave your door cracked open a bit and let love and joy and inspiration and passion and purpose find you. And then don't turn it away when it shows up in a bigger, brighter, bolder form than you expected.
I wish I could say I learned this lesson without tears. I wish I could say I learned the art of humility and surrender and letting go without anguish. But I wouldn't trade away any of those experiences for anything in the world. Even those moments where I've lost in the end ... I have no regrets of finally opening up my heart and letting others in.
OK, I am starting to feel my body turn inside out, because this was a lot of honesty for me. Seriously, on my way back, I had to pull over at a rest stop in New Jersey and have a short, weird sob when I realized what I had to write about for this issue. So, I hope some of you jokers will make my emotional exposure worth it by finding a way to be honest with someone else in your life this week.
And with that, I'm going to wrap myself up like a blanket burrito in bed and watch National Treasure (and probably National Treasure 2) for the 1,204,430th time. (Seriously, what is on page 47?!)
Goodnight. Please hesitate to call.