In this episode of Beyond Your Default, George and I explore something that doesn’t get talked about nearly enough: the happiness paradox.
When you think about happiness, it’s easy to imagine it as something simple—a destination you arrive at once you’ve accomplished everything you set out to do. But what happens when you reach those milestones, check all the boxes, and happiness still feels…out of reach?
⚡Go Deeper: Finding True Happiness in Times of Hopelessness
We’ve all been taught that once you achieve success—whether that’s in your career, relationships, or life in general—happiness will follow.
But what if, when you get there, it doesn’t? Or worse, you feel nothing at all? That disconnect between expectation and reality is what George and I are diving into today. And if you’ve ever wondered why happiness sometimes feels elusive, even when things are going well, this is the conversation for you.
We get into the ways we’ve experienced this in our own lives—hitting big goals only to feel underwhelmed, or even empty, afterward. For high achievers especially (looking at you, George), this paradox can be particularly hard to navigate because we’re always moving on to the next big thing without taking the time to truly appreciate what we’ve already accomplished. Sound familiar?
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So if you’ve ever found yourself in that weird space of “I should be happy, but I’m not,” we’re here to unpack that, explore why it happens, and offer some insights on how to navigate it. Happiness doesn’t always show up the way we expect it to. Sometimes, it’s more subtle than we’d like. Sometimes, it’s there, but we’re too busy pushing forward to notice it. If you’ve ever felt like happiness was just out of reach—even when everything’s going well—this episode is definitely for you.
Ready to understand the happiness paradox and start feeling the joy that’s already in your life? Let’s dig in.
happiness paradox, happiness vs. success, chasing happiness, fear of success, self-sabotage, feeling unfulfilled, high achievers and happiness, internal vs. external validation
What Is the Happiness Paradox? – We start by exploring what we mean when we talk about the happiness paradox. Why is it that, sometimes, even when we get exactly what we thought we wanted, it doesn’t bring the happiness we expected? We dive into how expectations around success and happiness can leave us feeling confused or disconnected, and what that means for us emotionally.
The Influence of Society’s Definition of Success – Society does a fantastic job of defining what happiness should look like for us—things like having the perfect job, the perfect home, or the perfect relationship. But the reality is, happiness is far more complex, and those societal benchmarks often miss the mark. We break down how these cultural pressures can lead to a false sense of what will actually make us happy.
High Achievers and the Moving Goalposts – High achievers, I see you. We tend to set the bar higher and higher for ourselves, rarely stopping to celebrate when we achieve something major. George shares some personal experiences where he’s reached significant milestones, only to immediately move on to the next thing without taking a moment to enjoy it. And I get it—we’ve all been there. We unpack why this mindset makes us especially vulnerable to the happiness paradox.
Why Don’t I Feel Happy When I’m Supposed To? – This is something we both resonate with deeply. It’s that moment when you reach your goal and think, “Wait, why don’t I feel the happiness I thought would come with this?” We discuss how our feelings can lag behind our achievements and why it’s so important to give ourselves space to catch up emotionally.
Practical Steps to Reconnect With Your Joy – It’s one thing to recognize the happiness paradox, but what do we do about it? We dive into practical ways to start closing that gap between your accomplishments and your feelings. Whether it’s practicing gratitude or redefining what success looks like for you, these are actionable steps to help you appreciate the present moment and your progress, instead of constantly chasing the next thing.
The Comparison Trap – Let’s talk about the role social media plays in this. Seeing everyone’s highlight reels can easily make us feel like our own successes aren’t enough. George and I explore how comparison culture affects our happiness and what you can do to pull yourself out of that mindset.
Fear of Success—Yes, It’s a Thing – We also get into something that might sound counterintuitive at first—fear of success. Sometimes, the idea of getting what we want can be scary because it comes with new expectations or a fear that we won’t be able to maintain it. We unpack how this fear can hold us back from fully embracing our accomplishments.
Stop Waiting for the Big Moments—Celebrate the Small Wins – Finally, we talk about the importance of celebrating the small wins, not just the big milestones. Happiness doesn’t have to be this grand thing you arrive at all at once. It’s found in the smaller, quieter moments too. And if you’re always waiting for the next major achievement to feel happy, you’re missing out on a lot of joy along the way.
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