“It’s the most wonderful time of the year . . . It’s the hap-happiest season of all.”
So says a classic song of the holiday season. But is it?
A lesser known Christmas song by Dean Martin sheds a little light on what some folks — regardless of their religious affiliation — might be feeling this time of year, when commercials push family togetherness and talk of New Year's resolutions start in full swing:
The Christmas Blues by Dean Martin
The jingle bells are jingling
The streets are white with snow
The happy crowds are mingling
But there's no one that I know
I'm sure that you'll forgive me
If I don't enthuse
I guess I've got the Christmas blues
I've done my window shopping
There's not a store I've missed
But what's the use of stopping
When there's no one on your list
You'll know the way I'm feeling
When you love and you lose
I guess I've got the Christmas blues
When somebody wants you
Somebody needs you
Christmas is a joy of joy
But friends, when you're lonely
You'll find that it's only
A thing for little girls and little boys
May all your days be merry
Your seasons full of cheer
But 'til it's January
I'll just go and disappear
Oh Santa may have brought you some stars for your shoes
But Santa only brought me the blues
Those brightly packaged tinsel covered Christmas blues
Oh Santa may have brought you some stars for your shoes
But Santa only brought me the blues
Those brightly packaged tinsel covered Christmas blues
This week, we're not pretending that, for some of us, this time of year is a jingle bell-decked cake walk. Instead, we're leaning into the discomfort, loneliness, and stress some of us may be feeling as we look ahead to the new year. Rest assured, if any part of those lyrics resonated with you, you're certainly not alone. Heck, the last thing this holiday season is for me this year is normal, so I'm right there with you.
So, gather 'round, friends. Your feelings, whatever they may be (anger, fear, lack of connection), are entirely valid. Now, let's talk about how we can move forward through this season together — perhaps with different perspectives.
How do George and I struggle with the holiday season?
What is it about this time of year that creates so much artificial pressure to be joyous and goal-oriented? How much of this pressure is external? How much of it do we create for ourselves?
When you're just not feeling the holiday season, how do we navigate it?
Why do we have such complex feelings about New Year's resolutions?
How would we encourage folks who struggle with New Year's resolutions, and the idea of a new year feels more overwhelming and daunting, to think about 2024?
Reframe your expectations and create new traditions during the holiday season.
Take time for yourself and simplify your to-do list.
Connect with your why and be honest about your feelings.
Avoid the pressure to conform to societal expectations and focus on what brings you joy.
Instead of setting New Year's resolutions, strive for continuous personal growth throughout the year. Change your perspective on New Year's and view it as a fresh start rather than a time to fix past failures.
Set monthly goals instead of overwhelming resolutions.
Align your priorities and expectations to ensure they are in harmony.
Embrace the present moment and appreciate the progress you have made.
Believe in yourself and make 2024 the year of self-love.
The holiday season sparks conflicting feelings as over two in five U.S. adults (43%) would use both positive and negative words to describe the holidays, and 72% agree that the holiday season can feel bittersweet. Four in five adults (80%) would describe the holidays in positive terms such as fun (50%), joyous (49%), or exciting (45%), while 63% would use negative words such as stressful (40%), overwhelming or exhausting (34% each).
To manage the stress of the holiday season, nearly nine in 10 adults who reported experiencing stress at this time (88%) said they have coping mechanisms that help them handle it. A majority of adults who experience stress (70%) said they are comfortable talking with others about their stress during this time—although only 41% said they actually do so—while others focus on strategies such as managing their expectations (38%), reminding themselves that the season will pass (35%) or volunteering to help others (16%).
Fewer adults said they turn to negative or potentially harmful coping mechanisms during the holiday season. Close to two in five adults who experience stress during the holiday season (38%) said they use negative coping mechanisms such as isolating themselves (21%), changing their eating habits by overeating or restricting their diets (16%), or relying on substances such as alcohol or nicotine to feel better (13%).
Sources: APA, Harvard, Forbes, The Depression Project
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