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3 min read

The Freedom + Power of Letting Go

The Freedom + Power of Letting Go

 

“Abundance is a process of letting go; that which is empty can receive.” – Bryant H. McGill

One of the most liberating, progressive things we can do for ourselves is to let go. Let go of what? Well, it depends on the situation — anger, expectations, the need to be right, the desire for absolute control, the hunger to know every and all outcomes, disappointment, shame, guilt, sadness ... the list goes on.

But even though I think many of us intellectually understand how much benefit there is to letting go, we still struggle to do it. When we're challenged in those emotionally charged moments to let go, sometimes we'll end up clinging tighter to the very thing that is holding us prisoner.

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Sometimes it's because we're afraid.

Of the unknown. Of what will be left (if anything) in the place of whatever we're releasing. There are a thousand little reasons why. In my case, personally, it's a spectrum of reasons. On one end, it's trauma that traps me. On the other end ... well, it's because a guy was super hot. And hotness can go a long way toward corrupting my ability to make smart decisions about my future.

That's why George was so passionate about us addressing this topic. Whether it's the hotness of others, fears, or traumas from our past that keep us holding onto the people, places, and things that no longer serve us, we all deserve a chance to move forward.

⚡ Go Deeper: What Self-Forgiveness Looks Like in Practice + Why It Matters So Much

In this conversation, George and I discuss the challenges of letting go and the reasons why it can be difficult for people to put into practice. We explore the skills needed to let go, as well as the emotional attachments and fear of the unknown that hold people back. We also share personal experiences and examples of letting go in personal and professional life.

Our conversation highlights the importance of self-reflection, acceptance, and future focus in the process of letting go. We examine the benefits of letting go, such as reduced stress, improved relationships, and personal growth. We also look at the consequences of failing to let go, including chronic stress and missed opportunities. Ultimately, our goal in this week's episode is simple — to empower you to remove the roadblocks standing between you and a joyful, fulfilling life.

Takeaways + Highlights

  • Letting go is a crucial step in personal development and allows for growth and learning from past experiences.

  • By releasing negative emotions and accepting the past, one can find peace, emotional well-being, and focus on the present.

  • Letting go frees up mental space, leading to improved mental clarity, focus, and productivity.

  • It is important to let go of control and embrace the unknown, as clinging to expectations and trying to predict the future can hinder personal growth and limit potential.

  • Letting go creates space for abundance and allows for the things that are meant for us to come into our lives. Letting go can be challenging due to a lack of awareness and skills, emotional attachments, and fear of the unknown.

  • Self-reflection, acceptance, and future focus are key in the practice of letting go.


Questions We Discuss

  • Why is this conversation important to our collective beyond your default journey?

  • When we say "letting go," what does that really mean?

  • Why is it important for us to learn to let go?

  • Why is it so hard for people to put this into practice, even though we know how valuable it is?

  • How have we struggled in the past with letting go?

  • When we say "letting go," what don't we mean?

  • What does letting go look like in practice?

  • What are the benefits of learning how to let go? And what are the consequences?

Letting Go Quotes

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ― Steve Maraboli

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” ― Ann Landers

“Abundance is a process of letting go; that which is empty can receive.” – Bryant H. McGill

“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” – Havelock Ellis

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

 

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Episode Transcript

Liz Moorehead (00:01.646)
Welcome back to Beyond Your Default. I'm your host, Liz Moorehead, and as always, joined by one of my favorite humans on the planet, George B. Thomas. How the heck are you this morning?

George B. Thomas (00:12.731)
I'm just doing great because I'm one of the humans still on this planet. It's funny because I'm not old, but I'm getting older and every day I wake up I find myself, especially the life that I'm living right now, I'm like, yes, yes, another day, let's go.

Liz Moorehead (00:31.598)
One of my things my dad used to say to me when I was much younger in high school, and my parents were older when they had me. So they had me when they were 40. So by the time he was having these conversations with me, he was about 57 or 58 years old. And he used to say, Liz, at some point, you're going to get to your life where you're going to have more yesterdays than tomorrow. So you should always be grateful. Yeah, I know. So now that I'm 41 going on 42 this year,

George B. Thomas (00:39.739)
you

George B. Thomas (00:52.571)
Mmm. Oh wow, that's good wisdom. That's good wisdom.

Liz Moorehead (01:01.902)
I could be at the halfway mark. I could have more yesterdays than tomorrow's. I don't know. I'm squarely in that midlife section. And hey, you don't know with modern technology. You don't know.

George B. Thomas (01:10.235)
Yeah, I'm squarely past that midlife.

George B. Thomas (01:17.179)
I mean, I guess they could kind of turn me into like a Borg robot and keep me around, but eh.

Liz Moorehead (01:21.454)
What if we get a little literal, a little more science fiction with living beyond your default? This week we're gonna talk about biotic arms. It's gonna be great.

George B. Thomas (01:25.723)
There we go. How to be 157 years old.

Liz Moorehead (01:32.782)
Oh my gosh. So today's topic.

wildly excited about this and this is unlike the past few weeks where you have been a potentially underdressed guinea pig for some of the topics that I wanted to talk about like self -care and all of these different things. We're digging it. Let's talk about how much growth you experienced during that episode. Let's talk about you did. We all grew together like a family. This week we're talking about one of.

George B. Thomas (01:40.411)
Yes.

George B. Thomas (01:49.115)
Yes, yes.

George B. Thomas (01:55.835)
We made it past it.

George B. Thomas (02:01.339)
I did. I did.

Liz Moorehead (02:08.208)
your favorite topics. And this is something you had mentioned a long time ago that you wanted to talk about, and that is about letting go. And again, like many of the topics that we talk about on the surface, the idea of letting go, this is not new. George and Liz didn't invent this. It's one of the most liberating and progressive things that we can do for ourselves is to let go, whether that's of anger, of fear.

George B. Thomas (02:09.915)
Yeah

George B. Thomas (02:23.867)
you

George B. Thomas (02:29.467)
you

Liz Moorehead (02:35.055)
of control, of the need to be right, to have everything go in a specific way. But I think even though many of us intellectually understand that, when we get in our FIFIs, when we're actually feeling our way through moments, it is very difficult to put into practice. We want to hold on to the anger, the fear, the control, the expectations of how something must come out. So today...

George B. Thomas (02:42.491)
you

Liz Moorehead (03:04.304)
We're gonna dive head first into the unknown, that expansive sea of opportunity that can come when you truly learn to let go, but we're not gonna shy away from the fact that quite frankly, it's really freaking uncomfortable to do it. So what makes this conversation so important for you today, George? Because this is one of your babies.

George B. Thomas (03:15.575)
Yeah, it's interesting because you even said like we want to hold on to which is not a place that we want to be and I even want to go back a little bit where like my thoughts when you said we intellectually understand but we struggle to do it and it's

out of fear and out of anger and aversion to the unknown. And Liz, there could be a thousand other little reasons. And my brain, when I'm listening to that at the beginning, my brain wants to scream out, excuses, excuses. Or my brain wants to yell out emotions. Those are emotions that are masking the true conversation that we need to have in our brain. Because I think that...

If I boil it down to one word at the beginning of this is like nope Like just stop it like nope the word that we're hiding is it's it's the word control Like everybody wants to be in control. They want to hold on so tightly to things and by letting go by realizing You're not supposed to be in control It is a form of strength

And that's what when we are trying to live a life beyond our default, when we're trying to have this growth mindset, when we're trying to do all of the things that we talk about on this podcast, it comes down to having this inner strength, this ability to just lean into what is going to come your way and it not freaking kill you.

Liz Moorehead (04:58.51)
you

George B. Thomas (05:01.595)
And my mind is transported to like when you plant a seed in the ground, like if you're a gardener, if you go out and you plant a tree, like literally, do you control its growth? No, you wait and watch. It rains, the sun shines, the sun sets. Eventually you look out at your garden and both.

The plants have grown. You didn't do anything. You didn't control it. You didn't control the sun. You didn't control the rain. It just, you put a seed in the ground. Why do we have such a hard time with this? Why can't we realize that we are seeds planted into this world and it's gonna rain, it's gonna shine, and boom.

we're eventually going to be who we're meant to be. Now, I know that I'm simplifying that slightly, but the foundational principle is true. The truth is unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over and you can't move forward. By the way, that was a quote.

Liz Moorehead (05:59.885)
you

George B. Thomas (06:02.051)
Steve Marabelli. The truth is unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward. Ladies and gentlemen, if you can't move forward, you can't get to a life beyond your default. If you can't move forward, it means that you're stuck. And here's the thing.

list again, I know I'm getting passionate, but this is this is a topic that is near and dear to my heart when you're buried in control. It's hard to be conscious in life. I feel like control is a cloud in people's brain. And what I mean by this, maybe a great visual of this is when control takes over your life, it's like walking around trying to see the world through cataracts. And when we say letting go, what is that like?

Liz Moorehead (06:38.734)
you

George B. Thomas (06:51.675)
What does that really mean? Right. And so control and these elements that we've been talking about on the podcast and these elements that we will continue to talk about in today's topic. This is where we're going to go.

Liz Moorehead (06:53.934)
you

Liz Moorehead (07:09.293)
You know, George, one of the things, and I'm sorry to do this while we're recording so our audience can hear this, a little piece of constructive feedback. I really struggle sometimes to understand what your true feelings about topics really are. So if you can do a better job of just being a little bit more explicit about your stances, that would be really helpful. Makes my job easier as a host. Just, it's a little more helpful. No, so I love where we're going with this conversation because I think you're absolutely right. As someone who is,

George B. Thomas (07:13.615)
Oh boy.

George B. Thomas (07:26.075)
I'll try to be a little bit more excited. Yeah, I'll try to be a little bit more excited.

Liz Moorehead (07:39.437)
a barely reformed, still relapsing control freak. It really does come down to control because when I think about moments in life where I have really struggled with letting go or releasing, whether that's expectations or anytime something zigs when I expected it to zag. I mean, perfect example, you and I talked about this this morning before you and I hopped on.

We did our usual, you know, hey, how's your weekend? Have you been caffeinated? Da da da da. And I said to you, well, I did not have the weekend I expected to have. I was moving into my new apartment this weekend. That went flawlessly. I'm so excited about it. It is, thank you. One of my favorite things about that is that that actually came from letting go and releasing. I was struggling to find an apartment a few months ago as I told you about. And I said, well, what if I just allowed to see what walked into my...

George B. Thomas (08:11.131)
you

George B. Thomas (08:22.219)
Congratulations. Yes.

Liz Moorehead (08:35.494)
space of opportunity. And I told you on by January 1st, I knew where I was going to live. And on January 1st, out of nowhere out of left field, this apartment that I would have never found totally landed in my lap. It was wild. But that's the positive side of letting go. This is also the positive side kind of of letting go. But Liz had a mild existential crisis slash panic attack.

George B. Thomas (08:37.499)
Yeah.

George B. Thomas (08:48.955)
Hmm.

George B. Thomas (08:57.645)
you

Liz Moorehead (08:59.338)
on West Street in Annapolis over the weekend. On Saturday, I went to go run an errand. I said, hey, I will be right back, George. And I walked out of my office, went and got a little snacky snack, went and let the guy into my storage unit, walked right back up to my little office at Thrive on West Street across from the graduate in case anybody wants to stalk me, went to go open the door.

George B. Thomas (09:00.571)
you

George B. Thomas (09:08.475)
Hehehehe

She never came back, ladies and gentlemen.

Liz Moorehead (09:29.772)
and that mother flipper was locked. And behind that door, my phone and my computer.

George B. Thomas (09:29.979)
and

George B. Thomas (09:39.323)
Oh no!

Liz Moorehead (09:41.1)
So even if I had someone to call, wouldn't have been able to do it. And I was very impressed that I kept the meltdown internally expressed. I didn't start yelling out of my body, but there was definitely this very loud pinched hum in my head that occurred. And all of a sudden it was, oh my God, oh my God, I can't get in. My whole weekend's ruined. I...

George B. Thomas (10:06.907)
Yeah. Mmm.

Liz Moorehead (10:07.764)
I was gonna be there for, I was gonna be doing all these things and I stayed there and I started panicking and panicking and panicking. And then this voice in my head just went, well you can't change it. Not your plan today. This is not the day you were supposed to have. And so I sat there and I kind of, I was sitting on the steps and I just kind of freaked out and finally I just calmed myself down and went.

You can't change anything. So what are you gonna do? Have a panic attack for 36 hours until Sunday afternoon when you can finally get back in? I ended up having the best weekend. I walked around town, met new people, took the dogs, I'm dog sitting for a walk. I actually did a lot of journaling and a lot of writing, because I couldn't, I couldn't, I didn't even have my phone.

George B. Thomas (10:48.679)
Yeah.

George B. Thomas (11:03.963)
you

Liz Moorehead (11:05.324)
so I couldn't have any distractions. And what was fascinating about this whole experience is that A, it was a test of this idea of.

Being without your devices, you literally can't call anybody. There's absolutely nothing you can do. You just have to accept something that is completely wildly outside of your control.

And also it made me realize how much I had been missing. Because in the past, I would say six to seven months, it's been like very go, go, go, go, go, go, go, here, do this, do that, what's the next plan? What's the next thing? Is this all set up? Are you here? Are you there? All of these things. I'm in Connecticut, I'm in Maryland, back again, and it's just all over the place. And it gave me this moment to stop because I'm starting a new chapter in my life. And I ended up...

George B. Thomas (11:39.803)
Hehehehe.

Liz Moorehead (11:55.659)
Did I show up this morning going, well, I will now be working late for the next two to three days? Yes. And I was given a gift. I was given a gift to be able to just sit in reverence of a moment that I would have ignored to check something else off on a list.

George B. Thomas (12:13.503)
Yeah, it's so interesting because this really dives into kind of what I really mean when I say letting go.

And Liz, the funny part about this is there's so many things in that story. One, I find it universally comical that the weekend before we were going to record an episode on letting go, that probably things that are important and usually go without not being around your body or used on a daily basis, we're like, nope. And let me...

Let me teach you about letting go. And it's funny because you and I have talked about like not my day, his day. And for me, there's been a statement that I've used for a long time, let go and let God. And what's funny, Liz, in this piece, you said a couple other things. Like you said, am I going to have a panic attack for the next 36 hours?

Liz Moorehead (13:07.82)
Mm -hmm.

Liz Moorehead (13:26.411)
you

George B. Thomas (13:29.627)
The better you get at what we're talking about today, it could have been a panic attack for three minutes or it could be a panic attack for 30 seconds or it could not be a panic attack at all because your knee jerk response is to be like, huh, well, I wonder what the universe has for me over the weekend. Like, but trust me, I'm not even there yet because I would have probably freaked out a little bit as well and figured out how to get a crowbar through a window or something. But.

Liz Moorehead (13:33.875)
you

George B. Thomas (13:59.291)
But here's the thing, for me, that letting go and letting God, for me, has always meant getting out of my own way. Because one thing for sure is I'm really good, or historically have been really good, at getting in my own way of life. And instead of feeling tense, instead of being stressed, instead of the panic attack that you're talking about, in these moments, being able to feel at peace,

peace in life. And I've used this before, but a quote by Bruce Lee, by the way, did I say I'm a big Bruce Lee fan? You must be shapeless, formless like water. When you pour water in a cup, it becomes the cup. When you pour water in a bottle, it becomes a bottle. When you pour water in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can drip and it can crash.

become like water, my friend, again, Bruce Lee. Listen, Liz, when life pours you into a situation like it did this past weekend, and listeners, I'm not just speaking to Liz right now, I'm speaking to you, are you the water? Can you become the water? By leaning into this, I've been able to embrace a superpower, by the way, of this idea of becoming the water that at one point I thought was a weakness, but I finally realized that,

Liz Moorehead (15:14.078)
you

George B. Thomas (15:26.587)
They were combined together and it's just kind of what the world, God, the universe, my situations have turned me into. And my form of becoming the water is I have this thing that I always was like, oh man, I don't know if this is a good thing, but I call it the chameleon effect. Meaning I can step into a room,

and I can become what that room needs me to become. And there were so many years in my life where I thought, well, you're just playing a part. You're not being authentic. You're like you're just, you know, you're a sneaky, conniving like and but that's not me. And it wasn't until I read the book Steal the Show by Michael Port, by the way, which it's a great book.

great book on communication. And he talked about the chameleon effect. And I realized, oh my God, I'm authentically changing into who I need to be to give the value to the room that it needs. I'm not being inauthentic. And it's this idea of letting go, not being in control of who I think I need to be, but just becoming who they need me to be. Anyway.

There's a whole thing, if you want to learn more about that, you can get the book, by the way, not sponsored at all. This podcast is not sponsored by Michael Bort. I mean, it could be, but it's not. He's a good human. But here's the thing, when I start to break down what we really mean, I think there's this idea of emotional release. Like letting go involves releasing the negative emotions.

Liz Moorehead (16:57.996)
Could be. Michael, call us.

George B. Thomas (17:15.511)
associated with the past events of our lives. Anger, you mentioned some of these anger, resentment, grief, fear. And Liz, it's about understanding that we have to and when we can move past these emotions, we find peace and acceptance. And I think that's another big piece because we've had moments where we've talked about showing up as a whole ass human. But to show up as a whole ass human, you have to have acceptance.

Liz Moorehead (17:38.366)
you

George B. Thomas (17:42.875)
And if you tie that to the conversation we're having today, letting go means being okay with the fact that something just can't be changed. It's about understanding that life is full. And I mean, over abundantly full of surprises and things that don't always last or go our way. And sometimes we have to accept the fact that we can't fix everything. We have to accept that we can't turn back time and make things the way they used to be.

Liz Moorehead (17:50.476)
you

George B. Thomas (18:11.963)
the good old days. It's about making peace with how things are, even if they're not perfect in the situations we're in. And we've talked about this, Liz, but I think when we're talking about what does letting go really mean, we have to bring in the word forgiveness. This can involve forgiving others who have wronged us in the past, forgiving yourself for past mistakes we've made. God knows I made plenty.

of mistakes in my life and have had to forgive myself, but letting go in this context means that you're no longer allowing these past grievances, mistakes, issues, oh my God, to dominate your thoughts because you're your worst enemy in your own brain. And more importantly, that they're not dictating your emotions.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you need a master class in this, you need to go back to episode 14 and 15 where we talk about forgiving yourself and forgiving others. And Liz, I want to say this. When we're talking about what does it really mean, I think there's this idea of mindfulness and presence. Geez, Liz, you literally said I did these things that I would have never done. I had time to think in a way that I wouldn't have thought. I went and connected in ways.

that I probably wouldn't have connected. Mindfulness and presence in the, like letting go encourages living in the present moment rather than being held back by the past or overly anxious about the future that's gonna come our way. It's about focusing on the now and appreciating current experiences without the weight of past or future burdens. Listen, we're all here for personal growth.

If you're listening to this podcast, you're trying to move forward and letting go is often a crucial step in personal development. It allows us as individuals to grow, learn from the past experiences, embrace new opportunities without being hindered by past baggage. Go watch that or listen to that episode, by the way, of leaving the baggage behind. Listen, if you're going to live a life beyond your default, you must. This is kind of funny.

Liz Moorehead (20:13.482)
you

George B. Thomas (20:29.499)
You must get control over feeling like you always need to be in control.

Liz Moorehead (20:35.465)
Oh my God, well it actually becomes kind of funny too because I was sitting here as you were going through that and I was thinking about the moments where I've been able to step away from my need for control. Things become a little bit funny. And it doesn't really matter what your belief system is, but sometimes when you stop getting angry that things have gone completely off the rails from what you considered to be your plan, you kind of look around and go.

Did the universe conspire for me to have this moment? Because I'm thinking about it like, that morning, I had given away my iPad to somebody. That was my only other device that I had. It was somebody who like, they were thinking about getting an iPad, I didn't really use mine. I said, hey, why don't you use this? That way your kid can have it, you don't have to buy something new that they potentially break. I had dropped it off that morning. And then the only real work I was meaningfully able to get done that morning,

George B. Thomas (21:04.035)
Mmm.

George B. Thomas (21:28.507)
you

Liz Moorehead (21:29.833)
was the episode outline for this episode on letting go. And so when I finally stood there and breathed, I was like, okay, ha ha. I kind of had a good chuckle about it. Not in the sardonic way, but it was just, life is kind of beautiful when you let go of that control. But I want us to step into, you started touching upon this already a bit.

George B. Thomas (21:44.315)
Ah

Liz Moorehead (21:58.729)
I'd love for you to give me your thoughts on why it is important for us to learn this skill.

George B. Thomas (22:06.011)
Yeah, I mean Listen How many humans have you talked to and they say I just want to be happy I Just want to be happy. That's that's all I want out of life. I just want to be happy Well happiness and contentment

It's rooted in letting go of things that we can't control. Like many times you're not happy because you're holding on with both hands. It's almost impossible to find peace and contentment in the current situations when you're being that wall and you're not being the water. And it encouraged us to like, I would say that we have to learn to appreciate.

Liz Moorehead (22:39.035)
you

George B. Thomas (22:56.303)
Liz, what we have, we have to appreciate much like you've just talked about it being funny, what's happening in the moment. And out of that, we can find joy in these present moments, even when they feel like they're completely off the rail. And there's another piece, we literally have this in our dining room.

that again, I started with the other section where it's like, let go and let God. Real closely tied to this, the serenity prayer, which most people on the planet have probably seen or heard, but God grant me the serenity to accept, accept, accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know,

the difference. And there's a whole thing right in there of like the the wisdom to understand what you can change. Therefore, you do have some subtlence, a subsidence of control and then things that you're holding on to with both hands that you're just wasting exhausting energy. And when I think about why is it important for us to learn to let go?

Other than just this topic of happiness, I want to be happy. I want to have joy in life. For many people, happiness and joy is actually dictated by the life reflection of freedom, right? Letting go provides a sense of freedom from the past and the burdens we've been carrying. This newfound freedom can lead to a more fulfilling and less dicey, messy,

Liz Moorehead (24:27.291)
you

George B. Thomas (24:49.625)
frustrating life that we might be into. I think the other thing that we usually do in this podcast is we break it down into like mental, physical, spiritual, like different sections and like it's important for your emotional health. Like holding on to anger, resentment or bitterness. Like we've talked about this. It's the poison. Like why are you drinking the poison? Like it makes no sense. And honestly, like holding on to

anger, resentment, bitterness can lead to chronic stress. Like, and listen, as somebody who ended up in the hospital for three and a half days because of stress, it can negatively impact our emotional health. Letting go allows us to release these negative emotions, reducing stress and improving our overall emotional well -being, physical health even. Emotional stress can manifest physically.

Again, I just mentioned going to the hospital for three and a half days leading to issues hypertension, heart disease, digestive problems. Why can't you poop? Because you're stressed out because you're trying to control everything. That's why. And we can. I'm just saying, I'm just saying people want to be like, I got a I got a bowel syndrome. Man, quit holding on with both hands to things that you can't control.

Liz Moorehead (25:53.001)
you

Liz Moorehead (26:00.873)
I'm sorry what what did what?

Liz Moorehead (26:15.912)
Let go of the poop. Let go of the metaphor poop.

George B. Thomas (26:17.409)
let go of the poop. I'm just saying. And here's the thing though, like literally this can weaken our immune system, which Liz, I've kind of said in past podcast episodes, like sometimes I wonder if I have rheumatoid arthritis because of the stress that I've put on my body and my mind over the years of like the hustle before the healthy hustle, like the grind hustle that we talked about in a previous podcast.

Liz Moorehead (26:25.512)
you

Liz Moorehead (26:37.864)
you

George B. Thomas (26:47.579)
But here's the deal, by letting go, we can potentially alleviate and prevent these physical mental health problems that we might find. And I find it freaking funny again about your weekend and what you gleaned out of your weekend because one of the things that I wanted to talk about in this section is mental clarity and focus. Like, just the...

The not needing to dwell on past events or worry about things we can't change, in your case, a computer and a phone, not knocking on the people's door and asking for your iPad back or whatever, like, but all of this can consume us and leave less room for productive thoughts, productive actions, letting go, freeze up mental space. Like, I don't even think people think about the space that they have rented in their brain.

for things that are not important. But letting go frees up mental space, allowing us to focus more effectively, more efficiently on the present and the future, of course, in positive ways. But I'm super curious, Liz, what about you?

Liz Moorehead (27:44.391)
you

Liz Moorehead (28:04.104)
Why is it important for us to let go?

Liz Moorehead (28:09.127)
I have a few thoughts. It reminds me, just a few, just a few. It reminds me quite frankly of an issue of the Beyond Your Default newsletter that I wrote a few weeks ago in honor of Leap Year. If you haven't subscribed, beyondyourdefault .com slash newsletter. Do it.

George B. Thomas (28:11.143)
Just a couple.

George B. Thomas (28:28.731)
Do it.

Liz Moorehead (28:32.198)
I wrote about the fact that we need to get better at embracing failure. Because if there is one thing humans have a hundred percent failure rate at, it is predicting the future. It is knowing what is best for ourselves. It is this egotistical view of the world that we know not only what we want,

George B. Thomas (28:47.161)
Mmm.

Liz Moorehead (28:59.014)
but how exactly we should get there and what precisely it should look like. And this is something I have struggled with a lot in my life. You know, oh, I want true love. It must look exactly like this. This is exactly what a perfect life looks like. This is exactly what it should be like. And if it doesn't work out this way, that deep fear gremlin inside of me goes, well, if it doesn't work out this way, then it's not gonna happen at all. That's what led to pretty much all of my 2023.

George B. Thomas (29:04.121)
Hmm.

George B. Thomas (29:22.989)
you

Liz Moorehead (29:27.878)
Am I grateful to be on the other side? Yes. What's also fascinating about it is somebody asked me recently, and I think I talked about this on the last episode, would you go back and tell yourself at the beginning of last year what was going to happen over 2023? Absolutely not. My control freak, Addle Brain, would have tried to sabotage everything, and I would have never gone through the lessons that I needed to go through. I would have never walked the path that was meant for me.

George B. Thomas (29:45.903)
Facts.

Liz Moorehead (29:54.501)
Us humans are beautiful, incredible creatures. We are capable of so much in terms of life and love and happiness and purpose. But we are not very good at determining what is best for us, what forms those should take. And it's not because we're not smart. It's because usually when we think about, well, if I'm gonna have true love, it's gonna look exactly like this, and he's gonna be like this, and it's gonna be like that. You...

George B. Thomas (30:05.229)
you

you

Liz Moorehead (30:21.829)
close yourself off to potential. You close yourself off to growth. Letting go is important, particularly when it comes to expectations, because you can usually not think as big or as boldly or as brightly as what your potential actually is. You think in a safe manner. You think in a, this is probably the lowest risk, highest reward scenario.

that will get me to quote unquote, what I think I want. And here's what gets really crazy about this. And this is why it's so important. If you cling to things that do not belong to you, if you build a castle that is not meant for you, if you cling to relationships that are not meant for you, if you cling to dreams that are not yours, you will leave no room for the things that you are supposed to have.

George B. Thomas (30:46.683)
you

George B. Thomas (30:51.547)
you

George B. Thomas (31:03.547)
Hmm.

Liz Moorehead (31:15.832)
You want abundance? You want these great big things in your life to come in? Then please tell me, what parts of your old life do you need to let go in order to create space for it? Because if abundance has no place to come in, if you have no runway for it to exist, my friend, what is it that you are wishing for?

George B. Thomas (31:15.895)
Phew!

George B. Thomas (31:34.331)
Whew, I feel like I need a fan of Bible and a hallelujah. Liz just took us to church, ladies and gentlemen. Whew, amen. My goodness.

Liz Moorehead (31:40.741)
Can I get an amen? Can I get an amen? Is that born of experience? Just slightly, just a scotch.

George B. Thomas (31:47.287)
Just a touch. Yeah, I wish I really knew how you felt, Liz.

Liz Moorehead (31:52.197)
I'll work on that, George. Thank you so much. Great feedback. Constructive coaching at its finest.

George B. Thomas (31:56.047)
In front of the entire world!

Liz Moorehead (32:00.149)
I love it. I love it. So why do you think that we are sitting here? We're going to beyond your default church today. We're getting fiery. We're getting feisty. But let's be honest. If this is something that people did easily and well in a consistent manner, including the two of us, this would not be an episode. This would not be a conversation that we even need to be talking about.

George B. Thomas (32:09.529)
Yes.

Liz Moorehead (32:25.061)
So why do you think it's so hard for folks to put into practice even though we know how valuable it is?

George B. Thomas (32:25.115)
Yeah.

George B. Thomas (32:29.859)
Yeah, about one bazillion reasons, but let's break it down a little bit. You know, as people who are listeners of the podcast know, I like to talk about the base of the tree. It's at the base of the tree. We can take time to think and we can ponder and we can get to know ourselves. And I think like number one thing that we got to hit out the gate here is there's just a fundamental lack of awareness.

or the skills to do anything about what we're talking about today. I mean, some individuals listening to this may not even be fully aware of their need to let go or might not know how to do it efficiently. They could be holding on with both hands and can't see that they're holding on with both hands. And when they do see it, they're like, uh, what strategies, what guidance, like how?

Liz Moorehead (33:10.486)
you

you

George B. Thomas (33:24.027)
And to be honest with you, this can feel like, sure, hey, just let go. And in their mind, they're like, this is an insurmountable task. Let go. Yes, let me just go climb Everest real quick and do that too, since you're asking me to let go. Oh yeah, like, let's do that. So like just this awareness of what it is and then setting kind of these tools or strategies in place, it's, they don't teach, listen,

Liz Moorehead (33:37.208)
Let go let God and get fired right exactly totally

Liz Moorehead (33:50.052)
you

George B. Thomas (33:53.019)
School never taught me this. My parents never taught me this. Like, it doesn't really get, it's not talked to. Anyway, so awareness. The other thing is, you said Liz at the very beginning of this, we don't want to. We don't want to let go. Listen, the real deal holy field, you might have some emotional attachment issues. People often develop strong emotional attachments to outcomes, beliefs, people, possessions. These attachments can create a sense of identity.

or security, dare I say false security, making it hard to let go without feeling a sense of loss or vulnerability because, woo, that's my thing. Have you ever seen the movie The Jerk? I just need this chair and this thermos. I just need this chair and this thermos and this robe. Like, what do you think you need in life that you're carrying around that is actually holding you back?

Liz Moorehead (34:35.459)
Yes.

George B. Thomas (34:47.259)
What do you think is making you secure but is actually just the safeguard of your own mental ability to not actually let something go? Anyway, tied to that is emotional pain. The process of letting go can be emotionally painful. Listen, this podcast is emotionally painful. The stuff that I've had to drudge up, the things that Liz talks about, like it's...

Some might say we're crazy for going down this journey, but the process of letting go can be emotionally painful as it involves us revisiting past hurts or confronting uncomfortable truths about ourself that we find. Last week's episode on self care. Anyway, the instinct to avoid pain can lead people to resist this process of letting go.

And then the huge one is fear of the unknown. Letting go often means stepping into unfamiliar territory, a place that none of us want to go. The fear of uncertainty or the unknown can be more like intimidating than holding on to the familiar. Ooh, the fear of uncertainty or the unknown can be more intimidating than holding on to the familiar, even if the familiar...

is painful or if the familiar is unproductive. Ladies and gentlemen, go listen to episode 11 after this if you're actually feeling a little sort of way right now. But Liz, I jokingly said at the beginning of this section about a hundred bazillion other reasons, right? I know because this is something that I...

have fundamentally struggled with in the past. Liz, I used to be an Uber control freak. It had to be my way or the highway. But I had to realize this was not who I was to be. I had to dissect where in the heck did this come from? Like, why am I living a life that doesn't feel like it's my life right now? Why do I feel like I'm repeating the history of my fathers and my grandfathers and this doesn't?

George B. Thomas (37:10.267)
feel right there was an awareness. And I had to realize when growing up that when I heard things like, when I say jump, you ask how high, was simply a human struggling with their own ability to let go and give up control in a life they felt they had no control because of the hand they were dealt. You see, both of my dads lost their fathers at an early age, so they had to be the men of the house.

Liz Moorehead (37:32.32)
you

George B. Thomas (37:39.259)
And what does that mean to a young man mentally? You better have it on lockdown. You better be in control. You better be 52 steps ahead. And when that man or men or grandfather is actually the person that you're learning from, what do you feel like you have to be? You have better have it on lockdown. You better be in control. You better be 52 steps ahead. And listen, once I broke that mental cycle, I could...

Liz Moorehead (37:53.139)
you

Liz Moorehead (38:05.171)
you

George B. Thomas (38:08.885)
Let go and let God. I could become the water and not the wall. I could find strength in understanding the sunshine and the reign of life. Whew, Liz, what about you on this? Take them to church.

Liz Moorehead (38:24.468)
Wow, is letting go something I've struggled with in the past? Absolutely not. I am an angel. I'm perfect. I'm great. Great. I in no way resonated with I used to be a complete control freak, sitting here pretending as if sometimes I'm not still a total control freak. One of the things that I

George B. Thomas (38:36.315)
You're perfect.

George B. Thomas (38:50.939)
you

Liz Moorehead (38:51.393)
really have struggled with in the past is just the wide spectrum of reasons why I have struggled to let go. Because sometimes it's big, right? Like if we want to do the thing that you and I were just that you were just talking about how we go deep and we sometimes go dark in order to have these have these conversations be as honest as they need to be. On one end of the spectrum, a lot of my control issues come from deep trauma.

I grew up in an abusive, alcoholic household. One of the outcomes of that as a child is you tend to become very hyper vigilant. You become hyper aware of people's emotions. Then you start over catering to them because you don't know how to have a stable environment or how to regulate your nervous system around that. That is a very big element of why for a good portion of my life, I've really struggled to let go of control in situations. That's one end of the spectrum.

George B. Thomas (39:44.027)
you

Liz Moorehead (39:48.995)
On the other end of the spectrum, I've had letting go issues for simple reasons like, but he's really hot. I understand, maybe I should think about something differently, but have you seen him? He's sick, sick and really hot. Like, so letting go reasons and struggles run the gambit of trauma to hotness and everything in between.

George B. Thomas (40:11.611)
you

I love your honesty on this podcast.

Liz Moorehead (40:18.404)
It's true. Like, I had that. I'm just like, he's so fine. Fine, whatever. But then there's also another little reason that I run into a lot. You know, we've talked about letting go from the perspective of our personal lives. But letting go is something really critically important in work for two reasons.

George B. Thomas (40:29.371)
Oh.

Liz Moorehead (40:44.1)
I'm going to start with one that's a little bit more specific to me, but I would say this is true of anybody who has the art of creation in any capacity as part of their work, whether you're a writer, a video creator, an entrepreneur, anything where you have to take a something in your head and create it in reality from nothing. There is this idea called you have to learn to kill your darlings. And I run into this in writing a lot where it's like,

George B. Thomas (40:57.005)
you

Liz Moorehead (41:12.42)
But that's really funny. I really like this specific grouping of words. Well, Liz, it doesn't fit. It doesn't fit. It doesn't work. It does not work here. And you have to really get good at letting go of probably some of your favorite bits of writing, your favorite bits of creation. Because if you look at it in service of the larger goal that you are trying to achieve with whatever that piece of content or creation is,

George B. Thomas (41:13.691)
you

George B. Thomas (41:18.491)
you

Liz Moorehead (41:41.541)
It's gotta go. It doesn't fit. It doesn't serve the greater good. It doesn't serve the greater purpose. But that joke is so funny. Yeah, and when you put it out there, people are like, that's a funny joke. She clearly put it in here just to be funny. And it doesn't fit. So sometimes letting go, again, it's trauma, writing, hotness. Like it's all in there. And then the other way I have struggled a lot,

George B. Thomas (41:54.457)
Mmm.

George B. Thomas (42:02.735)
Hmm.

Liz Moorehead (42:09.892)
when it comes down to the people pleasing aspect of it, which is something I've gotten better at, but I'll be honest, I'm still working on, is that when you're trying to control everything, I said earlier in this episode that we're really bad at predicting the future. And we tend to make plans. There are a lot of studies around time management, around productivity that have to do with the fact that when people make plans, we tend to do so,

by assuming the best possible outcomes across every single variable. When we try to control everything, you are increasing the likelihood that something can and will go wrong.

George B. Thomas (42:41.303)
Yeah, yeah you gonna jack it up

Liz Moorehead (42:56.708)
particularly when it comes to your work. Wow, I look, wow. I feel like I hit a couple spots for you. I saw you doing a little pacing, George. What's on your mind over there?

George B. Thomas (43:06.907)
Yeah, that's the thing. Like the more you try to control it, the more chances that you probably going to jack it up. I'm just going to throw that out there. And this could be life or this could be profession. But it's funny that you went to profession because one of the superpowers that back in the day when I worked at Minecraft Media that then turned into Epiphany and I worked with Eric Jacobs.

Liz Moorehead (43:16.068)
You about to learn a lesson.

George B. Thomas (43:33.851)
He was the creative director and this is when I was just getting into like agency life, design, development, that kind of stuff. A lesson that I learned was not how to get butt hurt. Like, realizing, looking at design work and be like, yeah, I know that's your baby, but guess what? Your baby is ugly. And actually being okay with my baby being ugly. Like, being okay with that.

Liz Moorehead (43:57.636)
Hahahaha!

George B. Thomas (44:02.875)
And because I used to get so mad when he'd be like, go try again. I'd be, I, man, I would be just for hours, but her like, it looks good. I like this design. And, and I'll never forget. He's like, dude, you gotta be okay with a client telling you you're the, that your baby's ugly. And then you go, you go make the baby the way that they need it to be. Like that's what our job is. And there's just something fundamentally interesting to me about.

Liz Moorehead (44:06.07)
you

Liz Moorehead (44:17.924)
you

Liz Moorehead (44:27.204)
you

George B. Thomas (44:30.715)
the lack of getting so easily hurt or frustrated or angry with coworkers or clients based on this like letting go of, but I put all my time and love and I even gave it the special like seasoning splash of creativity. No, it's like, no, it's not right. Do it again. And that being okay. Anyway, you did hit a couple of professional nerves.

Liz Moorehead (44:42.134)
you

George B. Thomas (45:00.603)
when you went that direction.

Liz Moorehead (45:00.837)
I love what you said there because it's absolutely true. You know, it's so funny, the fact that I grew up in this kind of hypervigilant way where I'm so terrified about people's opinions of me and I get really people -pleasy, for some reason that doesn't show up in that aspect of my work. It's more about, like, I learned very early on that if people don't like the creation that you've brought forward, it's not personal, and you have to really change the goal of what you have there.

George B. Thomas (45:16.589)
you

George B. Thomas (45:24.735)
Nope.

Liz Moorehead (45:29.157)
Is your goal to look good in front of a client or is your goal to collectively and collaboratively solve the problem you have both decided need to be solved? And then life gets fundamentally easier. Anyway, I wanna pivot the conversation here because we've spent a lot of time defining what we're talking about here, right? What is letting go? I'd love to hear from you when we say letting go, what don't we mean?

George B. Thomas (45:35.661)
Yeah. Yep.

George B. Thomas (45:45.627)
Yeah.

George B. Thomas (45:52.935)
Yeah, so the immediate thing I have the transport back to is But Liz they don't care that I liked to pock and biggie Liz they don't care that I was homeless Liz they don't care that I come from you know humble beginnings in a one -room log cabin with no running water and and you saying When are you gonna show up as a whole -ass human because?

Liz Moorehead (46:04.837)
you

George B. Thomas (46:20.571)
What I was trying to do is forget my past. Even worse, what I was trying to do is erase my past. And letting go doesn't mean that you forget what happened or deny the significance, the significance, the significance of the past events. It's about accepting the past, learning from it and not allowing it to dictate your present or future, but it's still being a part of who you are.

about what we don't mean. Is this thing on? Is this thing on? Quit avoiding responsibility. Like it, letting go is not avoiding responsibility. Letting go doesn't mean you shirk responsibility for your actions or their consequences. It's about releasing the emotional burden while still acknowledging and learning from your experiences.

Liz Moorehead (46:51.815)
you

Liz Moorehead (47:17.336)
So I can't roll up tomorrow morning, George, and be like, I know you wanted a pillar page, but I was letting go and letting God. I could, I could.

George B. Thomas (47:23.275)
I mean, you might be able to try that. I don't know what that conversation would go like. But here's the deal. I will lean into that. It kind of my response might kind of lean in to the next thing I want to talk about. Like, listen, letting go because Liz, I might let go of that, but it doesn't mean that I'm going to ignore or deny my feelings.

Along the way like letting go is not about suppressing or pretending your emotions don't exist It's about acknowledging your feelings Liz. That's great that you had a great weekend We gotta get shit done like April 1st is good I'm just I'm like April 1st. Anyway, if you're like, what is April 1st? Check the internet April 1st, you'll find out but we have to acknowledge our feelings and we have to more importantly I

Liz Moorehead (48:02.791)
Oh yeah! You'll find out.

George B. Thomas (48:22.299)
As I say this, I wonder, that's interesting where my brain just went. Ladies and gentlemen, I need you to ask yourself a question. Do you understand your feelings or do you just have them? Because what I'm about to say, it's about acknowledging your feelings and understanding them. You would have to understand them to then release the hold that they have over you.

Liz Moorehead (48:30.651)
you

Liz Moorehead (48:45.133)
you

George B. Thomas (48:52.667)
Anyway, the other thing I want to mention here is when I say let go, especially on this journey for a life beyond her default, I do not mean giving up. Letting go is not synonymous with giving up or showing weakness. It's a conscious choice to release what no longer serves you, which often requires, by the way, more strength and courage than fricking holding on to it. So like.

All of those things, forgetting or erasing your past, avoiding responsibility, ignoring or denying your feelings, giving up, all of those are like the wrong side of this letting go coin that we're talking about today.

Liz Moorehead (49:34.887)
Well, good news. That was only a hypothetical. I got you, boo. Because I watched you experience a wide range of feelings where you're like, I know she's saying this hypothetically. I know she's saying this hypothetically. Yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. The only thing, other thing I would add before we move on from this is that letting go, this reminds me a lot of our toxic positivity conversation and our episode on forgiving others.

George B. Thomas (49:38.907)
Yes. Yeah, yeah.

George B. Thomas (49:46.715)
I hope.

George B. Thomas (49:55.419)
Yeah.

George B. Thomas (50:01.599)
Yeah.

Liz Moorehead (50:04.823)
Letting go in practice does not mean, it's not just about not absolving yourself of your responsibilities. You do not absolve others of responsibility when they need to take responsibility, when they need to take accountability for their actions. You know, there's a lot of this like taking the high road, moral high ground, da da da. If someone has genuinely done you a disservice, if someone has,

George B. Thomas (50:12.059)
you

George B. Thomas (50:30.459)
Hmm

Liz Moorehead (50:33.767)
genuinely done harm to you, physically, emotionally, however you define it, you do not need to let go in order to be the bigger person. Now, we've had extensive conversations about processing anger healthily, what forgiveness actually looks like, accountability actually looks like. Go back and listen to those episodes, because I'm not saying, well, Liz said that I could be angriest, now I'm going to pick up a hammer and scream a lot. Like, that's not what I'm saying here. My point.

George B. Thomas (50:57.397)
Sounds fun though.

Liz Moorehead (51:02.79)
It does sound fun, doesn't it? When we say letting go, what we don't mean is all of a sudden you have to become a doormat. Otherwise you're not letting go enough. Okay, so George, talk to us about what letting go looks like in practice.

George B. Thomas (51:11.867)
Yeah. No.

George B. Thomas (51:18.263)
Yep. Back to the base of that tree. So the first thing is, and we've kind of, there's been hints of this along the way, but in practice, letting go is about self -reflection and awareness. Letting go is, it's an in, it's like in here, it's hard. Like it's an introspective process. You're going to have to dig in and like actually dissect some things and tweak some things and change some things. It,

The ability to do what we're talking about, it requires self -awareness to recognize what needs to be released and why. This awareness is crucial for identifying the attachments or patterns that no longer serve you and what's best for your interest as you move forward. By the way, there's some real wisdom in there, like write down in your notepad if you're taking notes. What attachments?

Do I have in my life that are no longer serving me? And what patterns am I doing over and over again that no longer serve me? That's gonna give you two real interesting places. Well, it could be multiple places in each one of those two things to be a place where you could start to work on. In practice, it's though acceptance, right? I talked about biggie and Tupac and homeless and.

Liz Moorehead (52:31.19)
you

George B. Thomas (52:46.299)
You just got to accept like at the heart of letting go in Listen the the real deal holy field of this is acceptance it can pertain to emotions it can pertain to situations Relationships circumstances, but at the end of the day, it's about acknowledging the truth of the

Liz Moorehead (53:13.334)
you

George B. Thomas (53:13.505)
moment, the present moment without trying to force change or deny the reality that you live in. We're really good as humans of like painting our own picture in our brain for the what we think is safety instead of actually diving in to dissect what will set us free moving forward. Anyway, this whole process, letting go.

It's not for the faint of heart, it takes courage and strength that often take significant courage to let go, especially when it involves deep seated emotions. This one's hard even for me long held beliefs. Or what's even harder, and we've talked about it multiple times on the podcast with Liz, you and me significant relationships.

Liz Moorehead (53:55.46)
you

George B. Thomas (54:03.195)
The act of letting go is a testament to your strength, your resilience in the face of change and uncertainty. And again, that gets real difficult when you're talking about your belief structure or the relationships that you've chosen to have for the past year, five years, 10 years, 20 years, and the emotions that come from both of those.

Liz Moorehead (54:25.493)
you

George B. Thomas (54:28.251)
As you live a life beyond your default or try to live a life beyond your default, the thing that I would say in practice that we really need to start to make sure again in that notepad at that base of the tree that we're thinking about is future focus.

Liz Moorehead (54:41.763)
you

George B. Thomas (54:45.185)
Letting go is fundamentally a forward -looking action. It's about releasing the past or the present, the holds that the past or present have on us, and embracing the future, the full future possibilities. It's an act of optimism.

Liz Moorehead (54:49.589)
you

George B. Thomas (55:08.859)
Being an optimistic human for what is to come grounded in the belief that letting go of what no longer serves us will lead to better outcomes.

for us.

Liz Moorehead (55:23.874)
This reminds me, especially that last piece, reminds me of the last issue, the newsletter I wrote, where I was talking about how I remember, I'll be honest, I called you out a little bit in it. Because last week we talked about the small things, and I started reflecting on where I was this time last year, and I was in a really bad spot. I think the way I articulated it was I was standing,

George B. Thomas (55:35.469)
Just a little.

George B. Thomas (55:50.381)
you

Liz Moorehead (55:52.131)
on the edge of a cliff in my life. And everything was just like, I suddenly, it was if a veil had been lifted and I could not unsee the fact that my fear and my inability to let go had just led to catastrophic consequences. So in that moment, it's like, fuck the small things, I'm in hell, I'm miserable. What? Yeah, I'm gonna be grateful right now, sure Jan, whatever. But then I flash forward,

George B. Thomas (56:14.509)
Hehehehehe

Liz Moorehead (56:22.148)
to this year. And I had probably the best grilled cheese sandwich I've ever had in my entire life. And what do those two things have to do with each other? Absolutely nothing. But here's what was fascinating about it. I was like, this is damn it. This is one of those small things George was talking about. It was legit. It was so good. I moved my laptop to the side and I devoted all of my attention.

to this little sandwich, and I was a week away from moving into my new apartment and all of these different things, and I was looking at the sandwich and I went, oh, well sometime between this sandwich and this time last year, I went from unbearable emotional darkness of my life and crying myself to sleep almost every night to things being fine.

George B. Thomas (56:47.941)
Yes.

George B. Thomas (57:03.195)
you

Liz Moorehead (57:13.475)
And again, I could not have predicted that path. I could not have predicted that journey. And those are sometimes letting go is just like understanding I have to do the right thing no matter what is on the other side. And you just have to go. So George, let's talk a bit here about benefits and consequences. I know we've touched upon a few of the benefits already of learning how to let go. But what are those tangible benefits? And more importantly,

George B. Thomas (57:28.891)
Yeah.

George B. Thomas (57:34.619)
Yeah.

Liz Moorehead (57:42.211)
What are the consequences of failing to put in this practice and this work?

George B. Thomas (57:45.745)
Yeah, I could not cover all of the benefits or consequences in the time that we have left, but I will say this. I'm gonna probably hit three benefits and two consequences because I think they're, not that they're the most important ones, but they're important ones. So listen, learning to let go significantly reduces stress.

Liz Moorehead (58:02.165)
.

George B. Thomas (58:11.119)
Anxiety, Liz, as you mentioned earlier in the podcast, panic attacks, I would say depression leading to improved overall emotional health. So that's the first thing, emotional health. By releasing these negative emotions that we hold onto and past grievances that are locked away in our brain, individuals, us, can experience greater peace, happiness, and emotional resilience. And it enables us to navigate life's ups and downs.

the sunshine, the rain that I talked about earlier, more effectively, right? Letting go of past hurts, grudges, and unrealistic expectations can transform relationships. So that's number two. Like, do you want better, improved relationships in your life? Well, then letting go probably is gonna do it. As a matter of fact, it fosters forgiveness, understanding, and compassion, allowing for healthier and more fulfilling connections.

with the others that you bring along for the ride or have in your life. This openness and vulnerability, did I say vulnerability? Pave the way for deeper, more authentic relationships with the humans that we're actually doing this life with. The third thing that I'll mention is letting go is a catalyst for personal development. And so when you think about personal growth and freedom in your life,

Liz Moorehead (59:32.405)
you

George B. Thomas (59:37.645)
Letting go encourages us as humans to break free from limiting beliefs. If you have not read the book, by the way, The Big Leap by Gay Hendrix and his portion on limiting beliefs, please, by all that is holy, go to Audible, go to your bookstore, get The Big Leap. But overcoming these past dramas and embracing change, this liberation, if you will, from the past or from fear or...

or of the future itself actually empowers us to live more fully, to live more in the present, to pursue our goals, to pursue our dreams and to realize our own potential because we've gotten rid of the limiting beliefs that stood in our way. Probably one of the biggest life altering things around...

many of the conversations we're having is actually that book, The Big Leap. So two consequences. One, if you do not let go, if you continue to hold on with both hands, I think that you'll end up realizing you lived a life with chronic stress and health issues. Holding on to negative emotions such as anger, resentment, fear, they can lead to chronic stress, which is detrimental.

Liz Moorehead (01:00:38.548)
you

George B. Thomas (01:01:01.339)
to physical health. This persistent stress, this hustle, this grind, this not letting things go can increase the risk of a metric butt ton of health problems, again, including heart disease, I mentioned hypertension, diabetes, mental health disorders. I'm wondering if it has anything to do with RA.

And when we have these health issues, the problem is that it diminishes our overall quality of life. And when our overall quality of life is diminished, it's real hard to just, I just want to be happy. That's all I want. The other thing that I want to hit on consequences is this idea when we fail to let go, it can trap us in the past, preventing us from moving forward.

It can equal stagnation or being stuck. It can equal missed opportunities because we're not willing to zig or zag or step out. It can lead to this idea that personal growth, happiness and fulfillment, it's not possible. It can literally hinder the progress since you brought up professionalism. It can hinder progress in careers. It can hinder progress in relationships.

Liz Moorehead (01:02:08.818)
you

George B. Thomas (01:02:23.259)
It can hinder progress in the personal achievements that you're trying to reach in life, which then leads to a life that feels unfulfilled and unactualized, which by the way, like that's not a life beyond your default. That's not a life that equals happiness.

Liz Moorehead (01:02:46.976)
What becomes possible then though? Talk to me about that. What becomes possible in your Beyond Your Default journey when you learn to truly let go?

George B. Thomas (01:02:55.835)
Yeah. I mean, listen, letting go really changes everything. It's like stepping out of an old familiar room into a whole new world where you get to rediscover who the heck you are. You get to try new things and you get to build deeper. Whatever it is that you're building, by the way, you get to build deeper, more genuine connections. Like there's just so much that is its abundance, I would say even.

Liz Moorehead (01:03:21.088)
you

George B. Thomas (01:03:26.427)
optimistic, happy, joyous. I mean, as you're listening to this, I want you to maybe close your eyes if you have to, but imagine your life not being held back by old fears or past mistakes anymore. Would you not feel lighter?

Liz Moorehead (01:03:45.137)
you

George B. Thomas (01:03:47.067)
See, that's what letting go can do. It helps you worry less, see things more clearly and strengthen, strengthens your relationships by being more real and more open. Or as us marketers like to say, more authentic and vulnerable. That's the thing. If you can tie into those two words in your life, being authentically you and vulnerable to the things that are gonna come your way.

Liz Moorehead (01:04:05.886)
you

George B. Thomas (01:04:15.003)
Not to mention it gives you the strength to roll with life's punches and adapt to changes smoothly. Like I use that Bruce Lee, you can adapt because you're the water. You're not the wall. You're not the thing that the water is actually going into. Letting go helps you figure out what you really, really, really want in life. I feel like I could do a Spice Girls, what you really really, anyway.

Liz Moorehead (01:04:23.326)
you

Liz Moorehead (01:04:30.846)
you

Liz Moorehead (01:04:39.768)
This has been the best episode ever.

George B. Thomas (01:04:42.425)
Never mind. It's letting go helps you figure out what you really want in life, which leads you to a path filled with happiness, appreciation, and a sense of fulfillment. It's about shifting from just reacting to life as it happens to living with intention, making choices that resonate with your deepest values.

So listeners, I would beg that you embrace letting go. To be honest, it's your ticket to a more joyful, fulfilling life where you grow, thrive, and find happiness in being truly yourself. Being truly yourself along this journey to a life beyond your default.