Liz Moorehead
Episode Transcript
Liz Moorehead (00:02.732)
Welcome back to Beyond Your Default. I'm Liz Moorhead. And as always, I'm joined by the one and only George B. Thomas. But I'm going to be honest, listeners, feeling a little nervous. Feeling a little nervous because right before you hit record, I did a quick check in, you know, hey, you excited about this episode? What do you think? Because we do a lot of prep that goes into this. And you're like, it's going to be fun. It's going to be interesting.
George B. Thomas (00:14.578)
I don't know why.
Liz Moorehead (00:32.992)
It's going to be a good time. You'll see.
Hi, George. So you're in a mood this morning. Well, before we get into how apparently you're either going to enlighten me or torment me or I guess a little column A, a little column B this week, highlights and lowlights. What do you got? How was your weekend?
George B. Thomas (00:39.393)
Hello Liz, how you doing?
George B. Thomas (00:55.307)
Weekend was interesting. I did a good amount of work. I also allowed myself time to play. And when I say play, really mean just allow my brain to think. I was thinking about the Beyond Your Default book this weekend and kind of messing around with some stuff and some ideas. And I was thinking about the superhuman framework. And I can only do those things when
able to kind of set, you know, the George B. Thomas and the Sidekick strategy stuff to the side and really, yeah, yeah, being the agency, we help people with sales marketing service, know, HubSpot implementation, CRM stuff, that nerdy stuff like that. But when I can set the speaking and emceeing and the agency stuff aside and really just reflect on what I'm trying to do with this podcast and the future book and and that
Liz Moorehead (01:31.374)
And sidekick strategies being your agency, yeah.
George B. Thomas (01:53.867)
It's very relaxing and really tapping into the human side of who I am and what I want to do on this
Liz Moorehead (02:07.363)
You know, it's funny. Did you have a low light or are we just sticking with the highlight this week?
George B. Thomas (02:13.833)
low light for me is actual a possible future highlight. Sometimes in life, we think that we're doing good and hitting on all cylinders. And then we have a moment in time where one of those cylinders blows a gasket and we get insight into a place in our life where we might want to focus
and we might want to try to fix and we might try to be better. That's about as deep as I'm going to go in that. But I had I had a moment this weekend where I was like, huh, I can really do better with that. So but again, low light, but potential success and highlight in the future because of, yeah, because of paying attention to the engine and seeing.
Liz Moorehead (02:58.275)
Mm -hmm.
Liz Moorehead (03:04.321)
It's your opportunity.
George B. Thomas (03:12.821)
this here, this little piece needs a tune up, then yeah, it becomes an opportunity instead of something that like makes a stop dead on the side of
Liz Moorehead (03:23.863)
Right. Well, my highlight from the weekend is unlike last week where my biggest highlight was I saw no one. I was an antisocial potato. I did nothing. The only people who saw me were the people at Fresh Market. This week, I felt like I struck a really good balance between me time and we time. In fact, what was interesting is I spent most of my time actually hanging out with one very specific friend of mine.
a girl who is just this incredible musician. She looks like this punk rock, like whatever, like yeah. And she has the voice of a Disney princess. my gosh. So we hung out this past weekend and it was great because I've always known her but we didn't get to spend a ton of time together and it was just totally driven by conversation. Nobody was picking up their phones except to say,
George B. Thomas (04:03.456)
nice.
George B. Thomas (04:12.769)
Very cool.
Liz Moorehead (04:19.423)
my gosh, you would love this album. Let me send it to you. my gosh, you need to know this book. my gosh, let me order it. And it was just such a beautiful and organic experience. And then I capped off the weekend by watching her do a live show at this local wine bar. And it was just so beautiful. was it was just really nice. I don't know. I just I remember saying that my friends are so stinking talented. But I also had the me time.
George B. Thomas (04:45.831)
Mmm.
Liz Moorehead (04:48.958)
Right. And it was interesting. I was spending a lot of time doing some different beyond your default work this weekend. And I had that same feeling of, this is the feel good human stuff. This is the stuff that makes you feel like really kind of warm and happy inside. You know, it's the stuff where it's like, during the week, it's really easy for me to deprioritize it in terms of like there are other revenue producing activities I could be doing.
George B. Thomas (05:09.377)
Yep.
Liz Moorehead (05:14.892)
But then when I sit down and I do the work and I create the space for it, it's like this extra time is worth doing that. This extra time is worth doing that. was going through and it was really unsexy work. Basically, I was going through what? 40 plus 46 plus episodes of quotes and trying to organize them, because when I first exported them, I didn't label any of the episodes like an idiot. So I've been going back and trying to organize it because otherwise you can't use
George B. Thomas (05:39.273)
Yeah, that's rough.
Liz Moorehead (05:43.648)
You have no idea what to link them to. So I spent like hours doing that and it was just, but I was having the best time. Like this felt so good. And so it was just really nice. I felt like I had that perfect dual focus of even whether I was with me or I was with we, it was all fill your cup stuff. So I'm getting to Monday morning and even though I was kind of stacked, plus I had some other work I had to do this weekend, like actual work. I didn't feel.
George B. Thomas (05:51.177)
Yeah. Yeah.
George B. Thomas (06:02.537)
Yeah. Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (06:13.898)
Like I missed my weekend. And then I started looking back, George, and I remember like this time two years ago, I always felt like I needed a weekend for my weekend. And between and between the work work that we're doing, and this work that we're doing, and just kind of re grounding myself, I don't I can't remember last time I said that. And that felt really good.
George B. Thomas (06:35.413)
That's important. Yeah, that's important to note.
Liz Moorehead (06:38.854)
low light, I hit my funny bone and that ish ain't funny. I forgot how that, I got how not funny that is. I know it's, I know it's a small thing, but I was so angry. It hurts.
George B. Thomas (06:42.791)
yeah.
I hate that.
George B. Thomas (06:52.339)
Yeah, like the one place you don't want to bump and that's
Liz Moorehead (06:56.396)
And they call it funny. Who is the butt head who was on the branding committee for that? Because you're wrong. Because you're wrong. But no, we need to figure it out.
George B. Thomas (07:00.755)
Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.
We need to figure that out. Send him a strongly written note.
Liz Moorehead (07:12.531)
After we get into today's topic that you are, apparently there's a joyride in store for me, we're talking about another pillar this week of the superhuman framework. And it's one of, yeah, go ahead.
George B. Thomas (07:23.033)
Yeah. Yeah. Which, by the way, which, by the way, I think it's a joyride for me as well and a joyride for the listeners. And part of my giving you a hard time before we hit the record button was I'm excited because I've said for years and years and years, like literally 10 to 12 years, be a happy, helpful, humble human. On our other podcast, Hub Heroes, I literally do a
Liz Moorehead (07:45.068)
Mm -hmm.
George B. Thomas (07:51.071)
like sound effect, right? And so I'm having this ability to really unpack like the words around what I mean and my brain when I say human or better human, good human, like humanity in a, you know, squared, pied, whatever, like that's what I'm excited about today. That's the journey.
Liz Moorehead (07:51.498)
yeah.
Liz Moorehead (08:16.032)
That's, you know, that's what I've been, this is the crossover episode I've been waiting for, you know, because for those who do not listen to our other podcast or maybe your familiarity with George B. Thomas has only been through this doorway, you have been waving the humanity flag forever and not as some sort of gimmick. In fact, your whole ethos and philosophy in the way you approach sales and marketing is three words. Is it three or four?
George B. Thomas (08:21.055)
Yeah,
Liz Moorehead (08:45.75)
Four, it's all about the humans. five, this is why I'm paid as a writer, guys, and not a mathematician.
George B. Thomas (08:49.973)
Five, yeah. The thing is you can simplify that is I try to do everything around business, sales, marketing, service, being human centric, like human focused. So yeah, so this is fun to get like the personal vibes, feels, narrative around where that side of it comes
Liz Moorehead (09:14.891)
Well, yeah, let's start digging into it because unsurprisingly, of course, humanity became one of the pillars of the superhuman framework, which includes 10 pillars that help you build your most authentic version of what it means to live a life beyond your default, right? Because the whole idea of the superhuman framework is that it provides a blueprint, it provides an architecture, but it is then up to us as individuals, as humans.
George B. Thomas (09:24.094)
yeah.
Liz Moorehead (09:44.972)
personalize that framework, to personalize that architecture, to reimagine how that expresses itself across our life. And we've actually talked about humanity, at least in some capacity before. One of our earliest episodes was about, you're just a human. You gotta be kind to yourself on this journey. But today, we are digging straight into it. So when we say humanity, George, in the context of the superhuman framework,
You know, what does that even mean? What is humanity? Which I know is just like a nice, simple softball question, not existential at
George B. Thomas (10:20.509)
Yeah. Yeah, it's just a tiny little thing. you know, what is the world? No. So, you know, it's funny, Liz, because when I think about what it means to truly embrace humanity and when I say that, what I mean is to be the best human that we can be. A few core principles come to mind. And one of the things I would challenge the listeners.
Liz Moorehead (10:23.819)
Just define humanity. It's fine.
George B. Thomas (10:46.823)
is to write down words that stand out to them so that they can go back and start to like unpack what they mean in their lives. And I'll also give the listeners fair warning that I'm gonna just ask some random questions along the way that I want you to write down and ponder over the next week or a couple of weeks as you think about your humanity and being a good human and what that means on this journey beyond a life beyond your default.
type thing. So a couple principles. First, there's compassion and empathy. These are hot buttons for me. Compassion is the heartfelt desire that you should have to help others who might be suffering. Suffering could be everything from like really suffering or just simply having a hard time. For us, it involves recognizing when somebody is in pain and feeling a genuine.
I'm going to use that word genuine impulse to help that person. For me, this ties back to what I've said in historical podcasts of it's because of this that I'm the hand up guy. Like I'm trying to give people a hand up. I'm compassionate. I'm empathetic. I'm paying attention to where they're at and I'm having a belief in where they can actually go. This, this emotional response that we could and should have
often leads to actions that are providing comfort, support, and relief. Right? So I want you to think about compassion and empathy equals comfort, support, and relief when it comes to this idea of humanity and being a good human. Listeners, I have to ask you, what was the last act of compassion that you witnessed and how did it impact
or somebody in your life, right? So what do you see this in your life? And if so, when was the last time you've actually seen it? Mahatma Gandhi once said, the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. You can only lose yourself in the service of others if you're being compassionate, empathetic. The Bible even says in Ephesians 432, be kind to one another, tender
George B. Thomas (13:12.021)
forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. like empathy, like in compassion are these key pieces, which by the way, we're talking about compassion there. Empathy, when we think about that, is the ability to like understand and share another person's feelings. Again, on this podcast, I've talked about, you know, walking a mile in their moccasins or their shoes. It goes beyond this idea of sympathy.
by allowing you to put yourself in someone else's shoes, experiencing their emotions. The key word there, ladies and gentlemen, is experiencing their emotions, not watching their emotions, not feeling their emotions, but experiencing their emotions and the perspectives as if they were your own, truly embracing who this human is and where they're at. This creates a deeper connection which builds understanding.
and strengthens the relationships that we have and that we're part of. And again, when we think about this empathy and really embracing, Romans 12 -15 reminds us, rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. But to rejoice or mourn, you have to understand if they're rejoicing or mourning. Like you have to be tuned into this actual piece. And so being human,
in these elements means taking the time to understand and share in the feelings of others. I mean, we've all had that friend and if you don't have a friend, maybe you can imagine having a friend. I'm sure if you're listening this, you have friends, but they're going through a tough time, right? And instead of just offering generic advice, which maybe we all have done, instead of that, maybe we sit with them and we actually listen actively and share or
again, embrace their feelings. Well, if we can do that instead of just the generic advice, this shows true empathy and makes your friend feel understood, supported and seen. Right. So I want you to think about compassion and empathy equaling people being understood, supported and seen. This is like the layers of being a good human or focusing on how to to X humanity.
George B. Thomas (15:36.223)
I mean, listeners, want you to think to yourself, how often do you truly listen to understand rather than just respond? Like, listen, I'm gonna be completely honest. Over the weekend, I had to activate true listening and not just listen to respond. I had a moment this weekend where I was in input
Let me just bring it in because I know I'm going to need some time to think about it and then I'm going to activate from there. But compassion and empathy, they what they don't mean is being indifferent or dismissive. If it's not about like ignoring the pain or offering superficial support with genuine care like you, you, you have to allow yourself to go to this next level, which by the way, I fully understand and have been there when
When we embrace compassion and empathy, there is the potential to be hurt because we are going to that next level, but we have to be okay with that. Liz, when I keep kind of going down this journey in my brain of this idea of what is being human or humanity or a good human, I have to bring up respect and dignity. Respect and dignity are crucial elements of being human.
Respect recognizes and appreciates every, every, every, every, every single individual's worth and dignity. It involves considering others, honoring their rights, feelings, and values, and acknowledging their inherent value as human beings. I so want to use the sound effect, by the way. But, but, but, you just, you have to acknowledge that they're, they're valuable, no matter who they are.
Respect, when we can lean into this, builds positive interactions. It builds mutual understanding. And again, it builds the positive interactions and mutual understanding regardless of the differences. So many times I watch our culture today and it's so polarizing. Like people are either one side or the other, or it's black or it's white. It's just very binary.
George B. Thomas (17:59.945)
And to me that equals a closed mindset when you can't respect others, when you can't lean into positive interactions and mutual understanding, no matter if we have differences or not. Again, it equals closed minded versus growth minded. And so if we think about dignity, again, this is their value, their worth, which entitles them to be treated in an ethically and just
way. And there's so many times that we say things that just aren't that. Like, everyone deserves to be treated with honor and respect, making sure that their self -worth is acknowledged and preserved. And again, I'm not saying that this is like you gotta treat humans with kid gloves. No,
You still have to give them the real deal holy field, but you can do that in a way that is respectful and withholds, you know, holds up the dignity that they should have. I love this quote by Albert Einstein where he says, our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty. The whole.
of nature. Not our bubble, not our little circle, but the whole like being human means treating everyone equally, no matter the differences. I want you to consider interacting with someone from a different culture or spiritual background. Like, first of all, when we talk about religion, holy polarizing, when we talk about different cultures,
because there's misunderstanding, sometimes we just shut it off at the beginning. think about next time it's a different culture or it's a spiritual background, treating them with the same respect and openness as you would anyone else without letting the differences create barriers. Like this is this is what's going to embody that dignity. This is what's going to show that you actually have the respect for them. And how
George B. Thomas (20:19.093)
Like listeners, need you to again, I told you I was going to just ask some random questions because I want you to think about where you fit into this conversation that we're having. But how can you practice treating others with more dignity and respect in your daily life? Like I'm going to let that sit for a second, because that's not a small question. Like where right now do you go, that, that one hurts. But you have to ask yourself how.
Can I practice treating others with more dignity and respect in my daily life? Respect and dignity are not about just tolerating disrespect or accepting unjust treatment. It's not about enabling harmful behavior or, you know, failing to stand up for what's right, but it is about giving them the respect and dignity for who they are as wonderfully created humans.
another piece that I have to hit upon here. And I didn't really expect this to be as long of answer as it's turning out to be. But if I let myself continue to go down this road, I think an essential aspect is helping others without expecting. I have this rule, zero expectations, but without expecting anything in return and understanding that we're trying to contribute to the greater good.
Like consider something as simple as a neighbor struggling to carry in the groceries and offering to help them without expecting anything in return. It's a simple yet powerful act of kindness that contributes to like a greater good. But we watch our neighbors struggle with their groceries or struggle with their lawn or like here's one for you, which blows my mind because growing up in Montana
the fact that maybe I'm 52 and growing up in what feels like a different world. Listen, I have to ask you, when's the last time you actually opened a door for a stranger? Like, is that gone in our society? Do you still do that? I challenge you today after listening to this, whenever you're listening this, find a stranger and open the dang door for them and see what happens. See what happens with them, see how it makes you feel.
George B. Thomas (22:44.737)
Listen, Mother Teresa reminds us this and Liz, if I was going to give like one point out of this entire podcast that I would want people to go back to and just embrace, it's this Mother Teresa quote because she said, it is not how much we give, but how much we love or how much love we put into giving. Come on.
How much, because love, by the way, is another key core concept. I have talked many times about just leading with love. And so how much love are you putting into the things versus measuring just the things that you're doing? Helping others without expecting anything in return doesn't mean seeking recognition or rewards for your actions. It's not about performing acts of kindness for
sake of applause or a personal gain. Matthew 6 34 actually teaches us, but when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing so that your giving may be in secret. So that your giving may be in secret. If you're doing it to be in the limelight, then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. And all of this, by the way, that we're talking
leans into this idea of just humans having these ethical behaviors that involve acting in ways that are consistent with maybe societal norms. I have a hard time with that because it's
I'm in the world, but not of the world anyway. But but definitely moral principles. It includes things like and remember listeners, you're supposed to be writing words down along the way, but it includes things like being honest, being fair, treating others with respect and dignity. It's having these guiding values like integrity, responsibility, transparency.
George B. Thomas (24:57.597)
It's making sure that actions and decisions are not only lawful, but also morally right and beneficial to you and to the humans that you're actually journeying this life on this world, on this planet. It requires a commitment to doing the right thing, even when that right thing is challenging or when even when no one is watching. Like as humans,
We have to stick to our moral principles. We have to keep our integrity as a high important piece that we're always focused on. And it's not about cutting corners. It's not about compromising our values to make people happy. It's not about just doing it when it's convenient. It's about acting with integrity all the time.
Not when it's just easy or beneficial. Now, Liz, you know me. I have to list three other pieces and then I'm done with this. As far as the definition of what I would say around humanity and being a good human, spirituality, which we talked about recently in another podcast episode, Holiness, can provide a deeper connection to these values that I've mentioned so far, grounding us in a sense of purpose. Purpose.
Servanthood is about putting others needs above our own and building a community where everyone thrives. And then how can how can I want you to ask yourself, how can you incorporate more acts of servanthood in your daily life? Listeners, I know I need to ask myself that there was there was a day when I was focused on mission trips and soup kitchens, but. You
Life is life -ing, but how can we get back to incorporating more acts of servanthood into our daily life? At the end of the day, spirituality, servanthood, respect, empathy, compassion, all of these, all of this is designed to bring a sense of calm into our lives and help us respond to challenges with grace and patience.
George B. Thomas (27:19.617)
and helping us maintain our focus on what truly matters in your life. Philippians 4, 6, 7 says, or encourages us, do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your request to God and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds.
Christ Jesus. Being a good human Liz means genuinely caring for others, treating everyone with respect and dignity, helping selflessly, adhering to ethical principles along the way, and living a balanced life grounded in spirituality, servanthood, and calmness. It's about making a real positive impact on the world while growing as an individual.
And these values, these topics, these beliefs make us better humans and Liz. The key point to this piece too is it creates the positive ripple effects that we're all trying to do, or at least for me, the thing that I want to see when I'm done.
Liz Moorehead (28:42.6)
Well, if anybody isn't subscribing to our newsletter yet beyondyourdefault .com forward slash newsletter, because you, you expressed how important those ripples are when it comes to examining our own human experience. But I, know, I want to take a moment and point out, you know, I'm hearing echoes of our conversation last week on holiness. And if you didn't listen to it, the, the high level is that there's this idea of nurturing your soul, nurturing your
humanity, regardless of your belief structure, whether that is a monotheistic, traditional religious aspect, a more, a more broad spiritual, universal divine way of thinking, it could be other disciplines, or quite frankly, you could have a more secular viewpoint of the world. The idea here is that this idea of nurturing our soul and our humanity is really geared toward
George B. Thomas (29:34.665)
Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (29:41.45)
It doesn't matter your belief structure. But what I find fascinating about what I've been listening to you say and why I call back to that conversation is that in order to embrace humanity, we have to first remember that our humanity, right? And we're gonna get into a little bit about how that individually expresses for ourselves. It begins as a collective. It is, the first step is decentering.
the me and tapping into the we. And that's where you get where you're going. That's where you really start to unlock some really special stuff. Because if you're decentering the me and focusing on the we, it becomes easier to do what you had been talking about, right? Those conversations where you need to turn on active listening.
If you're not putting me first and you're putting we first, that becomes a lot easier to do, even if you have to sit with uncomfortable emotions, which if you listen to our toxic positivity episode, that's okay to do. You know, it becomes, you have the buy -in already to do the hard things. Now, I wanna start dipping our toes a bit here into the individual expressions of it, right?
George B. Thomas (30:37.601)
Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (31:03.958)
Because humanity is a collective. It is this we. But we each play our own role as a member of this collective, of this humanity on this earth. So that means we need to show up authentically and with vulnerability. And you talk about this in our conversation in the superhuman framework, about the importance and the emphasis of authenticity and vulnerability. How?
George B. Thomas (31:08.166)
Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (31:30.346)
Have these qualities impacted your personal and professional relationships when you've practiced what you preached, when you have emphasized these things?
George B. Thomas (31:40.575)
Yeah, first of all, I love authenticity and vulnerability. And listen, I've shared the story of like how I learned being vulnerable equals magic moments. Authenticity, you know, one of the things that I love to hear is, man, no matter if I see you on stage, no matter if I'm sitting at your fire pit, like you are who you are. Like you, I just get George.
Because I try really, really hard not to be different people in different situations. I just try to show up as me and have these kind of core pieces, being human, being happy, being helpful lead the way. you know, authenticity, vulnerability, when I think about this, like, they are really two big pieces that shape our lives and relationships. So...
It's easier to be a friend, be a husband, be a father, whatever you are. You might be a mother, you might be a wife, but it's easier to have those relationships when you're showing up as your authentic self and not wearing a mask and willing to be vulnerable, whether that's vulnerable in listening or vulnerable in what you have to say. And what I want everybody to realize is when we talk about authenticity,
It's all about being true to yourself and showing others who you really are. And I mean warts and all. Like the good, the bad, the ugly. Being willing to actually showing that. It's about embracing both your strengths and your weaknesses. And when you can embrace those and show those to others, like we as humans,
fundamentally think it's going to be maybe corrosive or destructive to how people think about us, but it actually builds trust and it deepens the connections that we have because people appreciate the real you. Which by the way, there's only one you. You were magnificently created and put on this planet to be you. So like don't wear a mask and hide who you are. Like show up authentically and
George B. Thomas (34:03.677)
Again, there's a really great quote. Ralph Waldo Emerson said to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. And what I want people to take from that quote is like being yourself should probably feel a little bit like a battle. Like you have to fight to be who you want to be and who you're supposed to be. Because trust me,
the world is going to not make that the easiest journey. And I think that's part of why I love doing this podcast and building the community and having the newsletters, because we're literally trying to be these like little super soldiers coming along the way to enable you to say and be comfortable with, yeah, I am me and me is enough. listeners, when's the last time
You allowed yourself to be truly vulnerable with
George B. Thomas (35:08.319)
Maybe never, maybe a week ago, maybe a month ago. But you need to think about that because vulnerability is about opening up and sharing your true feelings, fears and experiences. If you don't open up and share your true feelings, fears and experiences, first of all, some of those feelings are gonna fester. That festering can turn to rot and that rot then affects the core.
of who you are and who you're trying to be. Listen, vulnerability is about being honest about your struggles and not being afraid to show your imperfect side. This honesty, it's going to build deeper connections, making it easier for others to relate with you and for you to relate with others, especially on a personal level. But I would even say, like, lean into this on the professional side as well, especially if you're leaders.
or have a leadership mindset. Desmond Tutu wisely said, my humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together. Listeners, being human is a team sport. Teams talk to each other. Teams know the playbooks. Like, you can't just go out on, I wanna use that dumb thing, there's no iron team. Like, you have
be doing life together. You have to be doing good human and humanity together. And these qualities that we're talking about, again, hopefully you've got your notepad out, they enhance empathy, compassion, respect, and dignity. Does that sound familiar? Like we may have just mentioned those earlier, right? Like this all ties together. By being
authentic and vulnerable. You create a space where others feel safe to be themselves. Now you feel like you can be yourself. Others feel like you can be they can be themselves. And we're actually getting somewhere. And and to be honest with you, in my mind, this ties in perfectly with treating everyone with respect and dignity like like I talked about before and helping selfishly and living a life grounded in ethical
George B. Thomas (37:32.501)
behavior and spirituality. again, it's this like connect the dots situation. But when you incorporate authenticity and vulnerability in your life, you amplify your ability to connect genuinely with others and build a supportive and understanding community. This leads, why we're all here by the way, to personal growth and meaningful impact for you and those around
and guiding you and those around you towards living your best life
Liz Moorehead (38:14.144)
You know, as I was sitting here listening to you talk about authenticity and vulnerability, it reminded me of something I wrote about for the Beyond Your Default newsletter, which is that truth is a binding agent.
George B. Thomas (38:27.157)
Mmm.
Liz Moorehead (38:29.706)
And if it isn't, that should tell you something, right? That should be a signal that something is off. And I'm gonna call out something that I actually made a note about, George, but you know what? We try to be raw and authentic on this podcast, so I'm gonna be the most raw and authentic possible. Do you realize how much we talk about love, how important love is? It's the most important thing, and it's not even present in our superhuman framework, and I have a question about whether or not that needs to change.
Because when I think about what you're talking about, it's talking about love. Do you love someone enough to listen? Do you love someone enough to show themselves to you? Do you love yourself enough to allow yourself to be seen? Do you create space for the truth to act as a binding agent? Because when love isn't present, truth isn't a binding agent. Vulnerability isn't a binding agent. Authenticity isn't a binding agent that brings you together.
George B. Thomas (39:17.377)
Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (39:30.429)
It is a weapon. It is a wedge. It is something that causes a problem because even like you and I haven't always agreed on things, but we've never had a moment where the truth pushed us apart. Never happened. Never happened. Well, it's not just about setting you free. It's about. I think about the conversation that I referenced a few episodes ago where I had the authenticity conversation reminded
George B. Thomas (39:42.847)
Yeah. Yeah, they say the truth will set you free. Just saying.
Liz Moorehead (39:59.314)
that or the honesty conversation reminded me like I need to go be honest with someone and maybe they need to be honest with me too. And what was wild about it is that over the course of that conversation plus the two to three weeks that followed wild truths had been were coming wild like things we had not said things we were too afraid to share.
everything's fine. We're closer than ever. Going on a brewery trip with them next weekend, like, it is amazing to me what is possible when you bet on the love that you have for yourself and the love that you have for other
George B. Thomas (40:33.131)
There you go.
George B. Thomas (40:44.063)
Yeah, we should probably have a strategic conversation not on the podcast about where that fits into the superhuman framework. Not. Yeah, it might not be its own section, but it might be a piece of every section. But we'll have to talk about that. I love
Liz Moorehead (40:50.933)
That is why love? Is on my piece of paper.
Liz Moorehead (41:02.453)
Somebody called me out though. I got called out. It's actually the next edition of my newsletter. And normally I send a weekend edition, but this question wrecked me so much. I didn't even get there. They said, you spend a lot of time talking abstractly about love, but never directly to it. And I was sitting there thinking about it it didn't crystallize for me until this conversation, which is it wasn't that I was necessarily avoiding it, but I think sometimes it feels a little hokey to talk about
George B. Thomas (41:11.995)
George B. Thomas (41:18.719)
Mmm.
Liz Moorehead (41:30.709)
But if I looked back across all of the themes, because I went back and re -read all my newsletters. I spent a lot of time doing Beyond Your Default, the stuff this weekend. And I'm like, because I talked about truth, I talked about risk, I talked about going after what it is you really want, knowing when to walk away from things or people, all of these simplifying the complex. Those are all symptoms of love.
George B. Thomas (41:52.321)
So let's yeah, let's do an episode, at least let's do an episode on love, first of all, and then let's talk about how that fits into the superhuman framework, which I'm super curious, if you're listening this and we put together like a superhuman framework course that you could watch or we could talk you through, just email us if you'd be interested. It's george at beyondyourdefault .com.
Liz Moorehead (41:57.919)
Yeah.
George B. Thomas (42:21.845)
Liz at BeyondYourDefault .com because we're super curious if people would want to dive into this superhuman framework for their life past the podcast episode that we did. Anyway, let's move
Liz Moorehead (42:29.128)
Yeah.
Yeah, it's fascinating. Yeah, that's what I just find fascinating about all this is that authenticity and vulnerability, like you said, will bring you closer together. If certain things are true, one of those things being love. But let's dig a little bit deeper now, because one of the things I thought was really fascinating about the discussion we had during the superhuman framework conversation was that we have a whole separate pillar about health. And
You made a point to call out the fact that while we will discuss health as a separate pillar, it is important to remember the interdependent relationship between your health and your humanity. Meaning, depending on whether your physical health is good or your physical health is bad or somewhere in the nebulous gray area in between, it can positively and negatively impact your ability to tap in your humanity. Sir, can you elaborate?
George B. Thomas (43:31.145)
Yeah, it's funny because this one, like I wanted to find some kind of like funny joking thing of like, this is like the something something type of person teaching you how to something. Like God has had to use a two by four on me when it comes to like health. Right. So I've had a real interesting journey of like being hyper focused on it and being not focused.
Liz Moorehead (43:31.603)
Hahaha!
George B. Thomas (44:00.797)
on it at all. And I have learned some lessons along the way. what's interesting is neglecting physical health impacts emotional and mental well -being. Without a doubt, I could end right there, just period. Like neglecting your health, it's going to affect your humanity. It's going to affect your growth journey. Poor health is going to lead to fatigue.
and low energy, been there, done that. When you have low energy and fatigue, it makes it difficult to engage in joyful activities, heck, almost any activities. Which by the way, when you're not interacting in activities because you are fatigued or have low energy, this causes then sadness, which quickly leads into potential depression. And listeners, if you've listened to the podcast for any
length of time you should remember our historical discussion on maintaining a positive mindset. Well, it's hard to stay positive when you're constantly drained. Like it takes some energy to actually have that optimistic positive mindset. And Eleanor Roosevelt said the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. If you're fatigued, if you're depressed, if you're not paying attention to your health,
It's real hard to have those dreams. Like in dreams is what leads us to our goals and our daily habits to get to those goals to try to achieve those dreams. And so to kind of go deeper into your question, how does your physical health influence your mental and emotional well -being? First of all, listeners, I would want you to ask that question of yourself. How does your physical health?
Right now, today, where you're sitting, standing, walking, jogging, flying, whatever you're doing right now, how does your physical health influence your mental and emotional wellbeing? Do you pay attention to it? Is it a struggle? Like, one thing that I've learned for sure is regular physical activity, just in the way that we're built, releases endorphins. And those endorphins are the feel -good chemicals. Man, I love...
George B. Thomas (46:27.905)
I did, what did I say earlier this morning, Liz? I think I did like 14 ,000 steps already at like nine, nine o 'clock this morning. And I'm not showing off, but man, I feel great about it, right? Like those endorphins are being released. I'm walking on the treadmill. I'm listening to like motivational, inspirational video while I'm doing it. I'm, you know, I'm answering some emails, like I'm just getting stuff done. And it's, it's because
Liz Moorehead (46:36.507)
Yeah, your big show off.
George B. Thomas (46:55.211)
being healthy and I'm releasing those feel good chemicals in my brain and those chemicals help keep your mood in check. Without exercise, we miss out on this natural boost in our daily life. And again, it could potentially lead to, and I mentioned earlier, sadness, anxiety, depression. When you're focused on healthy living,
It definitely helps with stress management. Like, listen, I know without a doubt, I don't even have to ask this question. If I ask you if life is stressful, 99 out of 99, I don't know why I didn't say 100, but 99 out of 99 people are gonna be like, yes, my life gets stressful. so stress management is another crucial aspect. regular exercise, proper nutrition,
this one might hurt, it might sting for some people. Adequate sleep. Those three things are essential for keeping stress levels in check. And neglecting any of these can make stress overwhelming, affecting our ability to handle daily challenges. And by the way, I'm not saying major daily challenges, but just in general, any daily challenges while we're on this growth journey to becoming better humans.
In our episode about smashing the reset button, which if you haven't gone and listened to that, make sure you go and listen to that. We talked about how we think about time and we emphasize the importance of a routine, including healthy habits in your daily routine and how that can significantly reduce stress. So what does your routine look like? What are your healthy habits look
Do you have those healthy habits? Are you releasing those endorphins? Is it helping you manage stress and not be depressed and anxious? Like, not to mention, this is another one that's been huge for me lately on this latest journey of, quit being an idiot and start being healthy. The change in my cognitive function.
George B. Thomas (49:16.437)
When I was, had gained a lot of the weight back and I was trying to make decisions and trying to like think about things, it was just fundamentally more difficult than now. Cause poor health makes it harder to remember things, makes it harder to focus, makes it harder to solve problems. And this can cause issues in your personal life. It can definitely cause issues at work. And it definitely can cause issues at
when you're supposed to be the leader of the ship. So like, if you don't want that to be toxic and chaotic, then you've got to focus on your physical health to keep it so it's actually, you're showing up as your best. Like we even discussed on another episode, the growth mindset and continuous learning about staying healthy and how it's crucial for
like engaging in these activities effectively for having this continual learning and growth mindset. So you can see this is another connect the dots, it all fits together scenario. But Liz, I've had to deal with this one. And I'm pretty sure a lot of humans have had to deal with this one. And frankly, if I'm being completely authentic, transparent, vulnerable right now, I'm freaking sick of dealing
this one. And it's negative body image. And negative body image leans into like low self esteem of of who you are and how you've been built. And if God really made you this way, or if you've made yourself this way over time, like negative body image and low self esteem often result in us doubling down on neglecting our physical health, because like I've gotten
in the mindset of like, why even bother? Like almost a woe as me, which by the way, my brain immediately goes to like the Victor versus victim mentality episode that we did in this conversation. Like be the Victor, focus on being healthy, focus on getting past the negative body image because this affects how we see ourselves.
George B. Thomas (51:33.427)
And if we're seeing ourselves through that circus mirror, it's also impacting the way that we're interacting with others. And when you have this negative body issue going on, and I've seen this in my personal life, it quickly leads to social isolation.
which can lead to physical ailments, which leads us to withdrawal. We're not going out and doing social activities. Like we've got these now feelings of loneliness and isolation. Like I don't know if my words are painting this picture, but I just see this like spiraling funnel into the depths of like, God, this sucks.
Because we're not paying attention to our physical health, right? And I'm talking about exercise. I'm talking about diet. I'm talking about the amount of sleep we get like physical health it it impacts who we are as humans and how we feel about ourselves which then impacts our capacity for empathy and compassion that we talked about which again, we know our huge for air quotes if you're listening this being human
Liz Moorehead (52:25.612)
Yep.
George B. Thomas (52:55.647)
or at least being a better human. And so when we're struggling with our health, we may become more inward focused. We may reduce our ability to have empathy for others. It will kill connections with others. But good physical health enables us to participate fully in social and community activities, build deeper connections, and have this sense
and my God, this is so important, have this sense of belonging. We all, as humans, we all want to belong. And so if you're sitting here and you're like, yeah, I understand that spiraling funnel, been there, done that, well, I'll shake your hand, welcome to the club, I've been there too, but some practical, yeah, we have jackets and logos and all sorts of stuff.
Liz Moorehead (53:47.428)
Welcome, we have jackets.
George B. Thomas (53:52.289)
Like, but practical steps to start to integrate physical health for better emotional and mental well -being include just, and start small, but some type of regular exercise. literally go for a 15 minute walk. Heck, go for a five minute walk and maybe do a five minute walk two times a day at first. I don't care, but do some like half pushups at the, you know, your foot board and like, you don't have to go down to the ground and try to do foot, just do a little bit of
But along with that little bit of exercise that you're trying to do, balanced diet. I can't tell you the massive amount of difference when I started eating differently and paying attention to my gut health. By the way, if you want a real fun, crazy journey, just do a journey on gut health and what that actually does for you. And then the other piece, and this is me being real vulnerable on this podcast.
The amount of sleep I've been able to get and the adequate sleep that I have been able to get ever since I listened to my wife and went to the doctor and got a CPAP machine is night and day. And so again, all of this fits together. All of these help us show up as our better selves and help us show up as better humans.
Liz Moorehead (55:12.511)
Yeah, I love that you brought up sleep because if people are listening to this and going, well, I'm not sure that's really, know, think about the last time you didn't get sleep and how well you showed up as a human for the other people in your lives. No, just, gosh, no. And that's one of the things I've had to force myself to do. You know, over the past few months, I've really struggled with this idea of, well, I should get up at this time. Should you? Do you have to right now?
George B. Thomas (55:23.605)
Yeah,
George B. Thomas (55:41.737)
Yeah, I give myself grace on that by the
Liz Moorehead (55:42.369)
Have you could, yeah, it's a challenge for me to regulate, because I am a recovering people pleaser who has really struggled due to familial relationships and other relationships to not put myself in a position where I tend to, it's interesting, we're having this conversation about, need to decenter yourself. Yeah, but there's an extreme version of that where you're not taking care of your vessel, where it's not.
It's not you're decentering yourself in name of the we and love and all of these beautiful things you're talking about or we're talking about. It's more about like self -sacrifice in a way that is incredibly self -destructive. And so that is that's an area where I I'm still finding myself kind of going back and forth, you know.
George B. Thomas (56:22.337)
Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (56:29.522)
Showing up too much, showing up too little. I'm still trying to calibrate myself in that way. And it's getting better, but sleep is always the best way. Would you like to see Liz's lack of humanity? Give me not enough sleep and see what happens. But you start to talk. No, especially when you and I sometimes have early morning calls. Hi. Hello. How are you? Ecstatic. Ecstatic. Thrilled. Ugh.
George B. Thomas (56:43.487)
Yeah, I'm not the greatest of humans when... Hmm, nah.
Yeah. It's more like, grrr, grrr, grrr. Caveman.
Liz Moorehead (56:57.482)
But you started talking about this a bit when you started talking about how you see yourself physically. This is something I struggle with as well. So let's stick into this a little bit. What role specifically does self -acceptance play into your concept of humanity? And how can individuals cultivate that within their own lives?
George B. Thomas (57:18.601)
Yeah, this, so it's a two part question. So we'll, give it two different pieces of the answer. It's funny cause it, it like just a cliff note of this. This is literally like the whole ass human conversation by the way, cause because here's the thing, like self acceptance, accepting yourself or who you are. is a cornerstone of our humanity conversation today. it allows us to embrace who we
Liz Moorehead (57:32.079)
Ugh, love.
George B. Thomas (57:49.213)
again, including our strengths and weaknesses. And it builds this sense of being able to be authentic and have compassion towards ourselves and others, which by the way, again, if you have listened to all the podcast episodes, sweet, if you have not, then you need to go and listen to the one about like treating yourself kindly and having compassion towards yourself along this journey. But
When we take the time, when we have the ability to accept ourselves, we're more likely to extend that same understanding, that same acceptance to those around us. And this enhances our ability to connect, emphasize, and build meaningful relationships along the way. To be a better human and build personal growth into what we're doing,
There's really Liz kind of I'll call them the top three things. Now there's more than these three things, but it's a podcast and we have limited amount of time. So the top three things that come to mind are practicing self -compassion, challenging negative self -talk and embracing vulnerability. Okay. So those are three things that I want you, the listeners to kind of start to think about. You have to treat yourself with the kindness and understanding you would offer.
a friend that might come to you. When you make a mistake, acknowledge it without harsh judgment and remind yourself that imperfection is part of the human experience. Like perfection is not real, it's false. So like get over it. This practice of being kind to yourself will build a positive relationship with yourself, which is fundamental for this personal growth journey that you're on. And by being compassionate,
to yourself, you create this supportive inner environment that encourages resilience, which we need, and continuous improvement, which we should all be doing. Now, I want you to pay attention though along the way as you're trying to focus on this to your inner dialogue.
George B. Thomas (01:00:11.391)
This historically for me, like I had to get past this. I literally had to spend time with like, I am statements in a positive way because it was very easy for me to be like, you're dumb, you're stupid, you're a high school dropout, you're never gonna amount to anything, you're an a -hole. Like there was just this toxic negative.
internal dialogue that in my younger years would just... Anyway, so please pay attention to your inner dialogue and challenge these negative thoughts that so quickly and easily sometimes can pop up and replace self -criticism with affirmations and positive reinforcements about yourself.
For example, and this is a very easy one, instead of saying, I'm not good enough, like you might just remind yourself that you're doing your best and that's okay. Like I've told my kids multiple times, like, I don't need you to be perfect. I just want you to try to do your best. Like, so are you trying to do your best? Well then, sweet, ease up on yourself. Changing the way that you talk to yourself is gonna directly impact your self -esteem and your confidence.
And by the way, confidence is real important to this conversation about being a good human and unlocks your ability to really take it externally because you focused on what we're talking about internally right now. Positive self -talk is going to enable you to approach challenges with a growth mindset, which again is critical for personal development and being a good human. I have to ask listeners,
and this might again sting or be a little bit painful. But right now, how often do you catch yourself in negative self
George B. Thomas (01:02:14.793)
And when you do, how can you change that? And again, it sounds like maybe it's not that big a deal, but it is that big a deal.
Liz Moorehead (01:02:24.022)
And 100 % is we did a whole episode on it. We did a whole episode on the language you use to talk about yourself and how it shapes your destiny.
George B. Thomas (01:02:31.008)
And if you haven't listened to it, go listen to it. Here's the deal. The real deal Holyfield is that you have to be open about your feelings and experiences. And the best part of this is like, be open with your feelings and experiences with trusted friends or family. Have a space and a place to share your vulnerabilities because being like sharing your feelings and experiences and sharing your vulnerabilities can help you realize
And this is so important. And I think it ties into that we all want to belong, but it can lean into like helping you realize that you're not alone in your struggles. And again, because you enable this, builds that better connection with others. Embracing vulnerability allows for genuine connection. It builds a sense of community. It helps you develop emotional resilience by facing and sharing your true self,
whole ass human, which essentially like you're showing up as you you're showing up as a better human. You're becoming a better human along the way. And by embracing these three best well called top best practices, we're literally laying a solid foundation for our journey towards self -acceptance and our humanity. It's it's through self
positive self -talk and vulnerability that we can create this environment within ourselves that is not toxic, not corrosive, but positive and loving. And because of that, it radiates outward towards those around us. And each step we take in this direction, Liz and listeners, not only helps us grow as individuals,
but also strengthens the bonds we share with those that we meet or live with every day. And it builds this idea, going back to key words that we're talking about today, this empathetic understanding of the world that we're in. I need you to remember this. Being human is about progress, not perfection.
George B. Thomas (01:04:53.889)
Continuing to strive for that 1 % improvement each and every day, knowing that our efforts are contributing to a more compassionate and connected human us, along the way, like during this journey, it's just wake up and take the next
and be kind to
Liz Moorehead (01:05:21.588)
I wrote about this in the last issue of the newsletter, which actually, I'll be honest with you, George, was inspired by you. Yeah. Because you had mentioned, so the past couple of issues of the newsletter, beyondyourdefault .com forward slash newsletter, we've been talking about the acceptance of opposites and polarities and contradictions, both outside of ourselves and within ourselves.
George B. Thomas (01:05:28.595)
okay. Thanks.
Liz Moorehead (01:05:49.179)
And one of the things I talked about in the most recent issue is that if you forever remain at war with yourself, you will forever remain at war with the world.
George B. Thomas (01:05:56.737)
Mmm,
Liz Moorehead (01:05:59.109)
It doesn't matter whether you're talking about love or honesty or self -acceptance. If you can't first give that gift to yourself, it becomes impossible to do it for anybody else. But one of my favorite examples is because you talked about this, right? You talked about the fact that we have these contradictions within us, and we believe that because these contradictions exist, they can't. For some reason, we think that we're not able to be these complex individuals where
I like this and I also like that. Or I've made a mistake and now I've learned the lesson. know, all of these little different, like we have this very binary view of ourselves of what it means to be a quote unquote good human. But one of my favorite examples, I'll give you two, right? The first is a galaxy. Galaxies are made up of regular matter, which is the stuff that we see, and dark matter.
which is the stuff we can't see. It's spooky. It's scary. We only know it's there because of its gravitational pull. Galaxies don't exist without dark matter. Dark matter is what holds all the beautiful, visible star stuff together. The light is only beautiful and architected like cosmic sculptures because of the darkness. But then if we want to look to Greek mythology, there's Athena. Athena is the goddess of wisdom and
George B. Thomas (01:07:17.681)
Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (01:07:21.389)
She's both. She is not a passive philosopher sitting on the sidelines preaching peace without knowing nothing of what it means to take up arms and a cause greater than yourself. Nor is she a bloodthirsty mercenary who is just there for war, there for the killing. She is both. And more than that, she is a brilliant bastion of peace.
And she's not a bloodthirsty mercenary. She is a brilliant military mind responsible for some of the great victories in the Trojan War. And the only reason she is able to embody that wise bastion of peace or that brilliant military mind is because she is both equally.
more we become at home within ourselves of, I'm a human being. I have shadow, I have light. I have edges, I have soft squishy parts. It becomes so much easier to accept it outside in the world. Because why do we reject those things outside in the world? Because it reminds us of what we have not accepted within ourselves.
George B. Thomas (01:08:36.182)
Yeah Yeah Yeah
Liz Moorehead (01:08:37.918)
And that's where we get into some really interesting stuff. So another key component of this humanity discussion that you brought up is emotional intelligence. Again, another softball question. What is that? I hear it a lot thrown around, especially, know, SaaS startup environments, which is something you and I spend a lot of time in. A lot of people like to talk about EQ.
George B. Thomas (01:09:00.223)
Yeah
Liz Moorehead (01:09:03.935)
But it's kind of like the Princess Bride. I do not think that word means what you think it means. So let's level the playing field here. What is it and how do you practice
George B. Thomas (01:09:11.369)
Yeah, stop that rhyme. mean it. Anybody want to peen it? Anyway, I love I love that movie, by the way, just going to throw that out there. But here's here's the thing. Like, again, I don't think you knew that several of these questions felt like you were putting on boxing gloves and there was literally going to be like, you know, the the what is that the, you know, the ding of the bell of the boxing ring? Ding, ding, ding, ding.
Liz Moorehead (01:09:31.145)
Oops.
Liz Moorehead (01:09:40.575)
Ding ding!
George B. Thomas (01:09:40.993)
But here's the funny thing about emotional intelligence. I think because of my skewed self -perception of my IQ, you're dumb, you're stupid, you're high school dropout, that I actually doubled down on EQ and emotional intelligence in my life. So it was interesting.
to kind of see this question and get a chance to answer this question because again, emotional intelligence, it is a key component to our view on this topic of humanity. And Liz, I love though, even though it was a struggle that you asked the question, what the heck is emotional intelligence anyway, right? In my mind, it's the ability to understand
and manage your own emotions, as well as recognize and potentially influence the emotions of others. It's having this ability to be aware of your feelings, controlling them when necessary, using that awareness to guide your interactions with others in a positive and effective way. To start
And again, there's kind of components here, right? When I think about emotional intelligence, there's like these layers of it. And so you have to like have this level of self -awareness, which, you know, you have to recognize and understand yourself, your emotions. You have to understand your strengths and weaknesses.
You have to understand how your emotion impacts your strengths and weaknesses and how your strengths and weaknesses and emotions actually affect or impact your thoughts and behavior. Like there's a lot to unpack right there, but like this idea of self -awareness is this key concept to emotional intelligence. Once you know yourself,
George B. Thomas (01:12:01.823)
And what I kind of was alluding to to the beginning of this answer is there's this level of self -regulation. So if you know yourself, now you can, want to go regulators mount up. Like you've got to do some self -regulation, right? It's about managing those emotions. Once you're aware of them, it's, it's keeping the ability to stay in control. It's about being able to be adaptable. It's reacting.
appropriately to different situations. And I think the interesting piece of this with self awareness and self regulation is that it layers or leans into this layer of motivation. And motivation and emotional intelligence is about having the drive to improve
and achieve your goals along the way. It's being motivated by personal growth and curiosity rather than the potential external rewards.
If you have this self -awareness, if you're able to self -regulate, if you have the motivation, the gas to go down the road of this journey, then we have to add on the layer that we've already talked about. But again, this is in conjunction to emotional intelligence.
And it's the external piece of the emotional intelligence where I literally said or influenced the emotions of others to do that self -awareness, self -regulation, motivation, and then add on the layer of empathy. One of my favorite words, by the way, being empathetic. Some people will actually empathize, but it's understanding and sharing those feelings of other.
George B. Thomas (01:14:10.099)
Again, about seeing things from their perspective and responding with compassion.
Listeners
George B. Thomas (01:14:20.906)
I love
But how do you practice and develop emotional intelligence in your life right
George B. Thomas (01:14:34.869)
We have to start with self -awareness, right?
How do you do that? By tuning into your emotions, even though those emotions might be freaking scary. Like pay attention to what triggers different feelings and how you react. You might keep a journal or use your notes app on your phone to reflect on your emotions and your responses. For self -regulation, you might use techniques like deep breathing, meditation, mindfulness to act like actually stay calm.
And when faced with a challenging situation, take a moment to pause. That's why they say count to 10, ladies and gentlemen, and think before actually reacting. If you want to cultivate this motivational layer of what we're talking about, actually set personal goals that are meaningful to you. I hope you're not living your life based on your parents' goals, your wife's goals.
your brother's goals, maybe by your mentor's goals. Like I hope the motivation that you're cultivating is based on personal goals that are meaningful to you. Cause that's what's gonna matter. Focus on what drives you internally and then celebrate the freaking small victories along the way to keep you inspired for where you're actually trying to get to. And the last layer that we talked about to kind of cultivate this.
build this in yourself. We all have to focus and I can get better at this. think till the day I die, I'll be able to get better at this. We have to enhance empathy. We have to practice active listening. We have to be able to figure out how to put ourselves in other's shoes. We have to embrace this mindset of compassion.
George B. Thomas (01:16:38.465)
We have to learn how to be great communicators. We need to lean into being clear and respectful. We need to understand that it's about managing the conflicts because it's not if, it's when they'll show up. Again, we need to layer on this layer of confidence and calmness. We have to be looking for the solution.
Like integrating emotional intelligence into your daily life and like maybe it's daily check -ins where you reflect on your emotions. What triggered them? Right? How did you respond? Like we've had whole episodes on like meditation and mindfulness and journeys and mornings and
You've got to embrace this piece, but also here's the thing. Let's go back to those trusted friends and family members. Like there's got to be some input into your life around this conversation of an emotional intelligence. Like.
Ask them how you're doing. Ask them how it felt. And the last thing I'll say is, emotional intelligence and self -awareness and self -regulation and all of this, it's gonna take time.
So you have to have this mindset of continuous learning, like read books, take courses, listen to this podcast weekly, attend workshops. I don't care, whatever you gotta do, but like Google emotional intelligence or any of the words that we've used in this section and figure out how do I as the listener, how do I as George B. Thomas, how do I deepen my understanding? How do I develop my skills?
George B. Thomas (01:18:39.389)
around this very important piece that is emotional intelligence because by practicing and developing emotional intelligence, you can enhance your ability to connect with the humans around you, navigate life's challenges more effectively, and again, build more compassionate and fulfilling life that you're actually going to enjoy journeying
Liz Moorehead (01:19:08.688)
You know, George, I'm just going to be honest with you at that moment when you said, listeners, I love you. And I felt so warm and happy. And then you came in with that two by four truth, my guy. So the next time you say I love you on this podcast, I've brace for impact, emotional damage. Warning, warning. His love is coming with a lesson.
George B. Thomas (01:19:16.551)
jeez, sorry. Sorry, yeah.
Be warned, warning, warning.
George B. Thomas (01:19:30.62)
yeah.
Liz Moorehead (01:19:32.975)
Let's wrap this up. Connecting to our own human experience, our own humanity, as you've discussed in great detail today, it is one of the most important things we can do. admittedly, we're human beings. It's not always the easiest thing to do, right? Sometimes traumatic experiences get in the way. Other times, the level of self -honesty required to do it can create uncomfortable moments of awareness, just like you said, around our actions. Also,
Sometimes we're just ding -dong idiots, because we're humans, and we mess up, and we make mistakes. So how do you want to encourage our listeners today, as they leave this conversation, to think about their own humanity within their own Beyond Your Default journey, even if this is an area in which they're struggling?
George B. Thomas (01:20:03.142)
Mmm. Mmm. Yeah.
George B. Thomas (01:20:21.685)
Yeah. So first of all, you're right, Liz. Connecting to our own human experience, our own humanity, it is not always easy. And again, you're right. Sometimes traumatic experiences get in the way. Other times, the level of self honesty required for us to do it can create these uncomfortable moments of awareness around the actions that we're taking and how we're not maybe being the best of humans, but...
with all of what you said, at the end of the day, it's important and worth every minute spent focusing on our humanity and being great humans. It is going to be the linchpin for probably every other topic that we've covered or had here. So first and maybe foremost, we have to acknowledge a fact. It's okay to struggle with this.
Like, it's okay. We all have our moments of doubt. We all have our moments of fear. And yes, Liz, I love that you use the word, we even have those ding dong moments that you mentioned, right? The key is not to be perfect, but to be persistent in our efforts to connect with our humanity. I'm gonna say it again for the second time, progress is the ultimate goal.
1 % better each and every day is what we should be trying to achieve. Reflect on your experiences regularly. Take a few minutes each day to check in with yourself. Listeners, how often do you take time to reflect on your experiences and feelings or do you just live day in, day out, fall asleep, wake up, go to work, eat, fall asleep? Like how often? Ah, I know. How often?
Liz Moorehead (01:22:11.596)
Rude. Rude. Rude. Rude. Rude.
George B. Thomas (01:22:16.043)
Do you take time to reflect on your experiences and feelings or like, or are you just going through life numb? Like ask yourself, how are you feeling? What triggered those feelings? How, how, look at how you responded. Like this practice of mindfulness can help you stay present and aware of your emotions without, without, this is a key piece for you to pay attention to, without judgment.
The other thing that we have to do, because again, if it's 1 % better each and every day, is we've got to set realistic expectations for ourselves. Understand that perfection is unattainable. It is false. And it's okay to have limitations. We are human. We have limitations. Accepting this can reduce the pressure, because many of us put ourselves in a pressure cooker scenario.
So we can get rid of the pressure that we put on ourselves and allow us to appreciate our efforts and appreciate our progress.
The other thing that so many of us try to do, and I fall prey to this one, is we try to do it all
Seek support if needed. Sometimes connecting with our humanity requires a little help from our friends. That song I get by with a little help from my friends comes to mind. And I love sometimes just to turn that on and listen to it and then be like, okay, who's the friend that I need to tag in? And again, whether it's a trusted friend, a family member or a professional counselor, don't hesitate to ask for support and guidance.
George B. Thomas (01:24:01.589)
Remember, connecting to your humanity is a journey. It's not a destination. It's about continuous growth. It's about learning. And it's most definitely about self -discovery along the way. By being kind to yourself, embracing vulnerability and staying mindful of your emotions, you can build this life, these connections, this human experience.
that we're having as spiritual beings so that even if you're struggling, you know that you're not alone. You see, ladies and gentlemen, the punchline is that we're all on this journey together, learning and growing as we grow. We're all on this journey together, learning and growing as we go. So I'll ask you to embrace your humanity.
my God. So I'm going to ask you to embrace your humanity with all of its messiness and beauty and keep moving forward on your journey to a life beyond your default.