“Self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to our true self and give it the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.” ― Parker Palmer
We've been dancing around the topic of self-care for a while now. Because, whether you're talking about understanding the line between genuine helpfulness and destructive self-sacrifice, or setting healthy boundaries for yourself in life and in relationships, self-care looms in the background.
OK, "self-care looms" sounds more ominous than I intended, but I stand by it. Particularly since, much like our episode about toxic positivity, the conversation about self-care is also chock full of misconceptions, myths, and toxic online portrayals of what it means to get "self-care" right.
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In fact, self-care has become such a confused topic, even George openly admitted during this episode how skeptical he was when I handed over the outline for this week:
"I think why others and me struggle (with self-care) is because we don't have an action plan for it. Many times, we don't understand what it is. When I started to do the research (for this episode), I was like, 'Why are we even talking about this?' Liz, I slacked you and said, 'How do you feel about this topic? Are you excited about it?' I didn't understand what it really was."
Was I upset when he shared this? Absolutely not!
Because what he and I both discovered is how he is the perfect example of why this self-care conversation is needed. What is self-care? What isn't self-care? Is self-care selfish or indulgent? These are the questions so many of us struggle to answer — heck, even me, and I'm fully on board the self-care train. (Choo-choo!)
⚡ Go Deeper: How to Set Healthy Expectations to Cultivate Confidence, + Self-Trust
Join George and I as we discuss the importance of self-care and the challenges people face in prioritizing it. We also explore the impact of upbringing on self-care practices and the misconceptions surrounding it. We examine the critical differences between self-care and self-indulgence, emphasizing the need for balance. We also share our personal favorite acts of self-care and provide advice for integrating self-care into daily life.
Self-care is about nurturing and caring for oneself in order to thrive.
Understanding and prioritizing self-care requires self-awareness and recognizing the importance of one's own well-being.
Self-worth plays a significant role in one's ability to prioritize and engage in self-care.
Guilt and lack of awareness can hinder one's ability to make self-care a priority. Self-care may not have been modeled or explained well during childhood, leading to challenges in prioritizing it.
Self-care is not about neglecting basic needs or escaping reality; it involves nourishing actions that promote overall well-being.
Self-care is necessary and not selfish; it is good stewardship of the gift we have to offer others.
Finding the balance between self-care and self-indulgence requires self-reflection, mindfulness, and moderation.
Start small, identify enjoyable activities, schedule self-care, and practice self-compassion to integrate it into daily life.
Questions We Discuss
When we say self-care what do we mean? And why is it so important?
How would we each describe our current relationships with self-care? Is it something we do well? Where do we struggle? Have we experienced issues with it in the past?
Why do so many of us struggle to find time for (or create space for) self-care for ourselves?
What isn't self-care?
Is self-care selfish? And where do we draw the line between self-care and self-indulgence?
How has social media negatively impacted our understanding of self-care?
What advice do we have for folks who struggle to find ways to integrate self-care into their lives?
Why is our ability to integrate self-care into our own lives so critical to our beyond your default journeys?
Self-care isn’t selfish or superficial
“I lied and said I was busy.
I was busy;
but not in a way most people understand.
I was busy taking deeper breaths.
I was busy silencing irrational thoughts.
I was busy calming a racing heart.
I was busy telling myself I am okay.
Sometimes, this is my busy -
and I will not apologize for it.”
― Brittin Oakman
“Self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to our true self and give it the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.” ― Parker Palmer
“Just when you feel you have no time to relax, know that this is the moment you most need to make time to relax.” ― Matt Haig
Genuine Positivity vs. Toxic Positivity and the Movement to Criminalize Emotions
Victim vs. Victor Mentality: Knowing + Living the Difference
How to Set Healthy Expectations that Cultivate Growth, Confidence, + Self-Trust
The Power of Language: Choosing Your Words to Shape Your Destiny