Liz Moorehead
Episode Transcript
Liz Moorehead (00:02.071)
Welcome back to Beyond Your Default. I'm your host, Liz Moorhead, and as always, I'm joined by the one and only George B. Thomas. But George, George, my guy.
George B. Thomas (00:08.679)
Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (00:12.183)
You're a little bit like a terrorist sometimes. Do you know that? Just sometimes, just just sometimes. Because you and I hop on here for a couple of minutes before we catch up on the weekends, say hello to each other, make sure, are we ready to talk about life and happiness and all the things? And then occasionally you'll do, normally it's just normal chit chat and then occasionally it's what you just did, is, I'm so.
George B. Thomas (00:14.69)
Just sometimes, every now and then.
George B. Thomas (00:32.363)
all the things.
George B. Thomas (00:40.118)
I say something, I hit record.
Liz Moorehead (00:41.249)
Yeah, I'm so ready to blow your mind at the beginning of this episode. I'm gonna go ahead and hit record now.
George B. Thomas (00:48.66)
I mean, why not? It's Monday. Let's get it started in the right fashion, right?
Liz Moorehead (00:53.441)
You know what, well before we get into mind blowing, how about this? What's your highlight and lowlight from the weekend?
George B. Thomas (00:55.99)
Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. You do your highlight and low light first. I'll do mine second. See, that's part of the setup right there. Go ahead. You go first.
Liz Moorehead (01:07.267)
For our listeners at home, this is a cry for help. Hi, my name is Liz. My highlight for the weekend, actually I'll start with low light so we can end on highlight. low light is something that sounds like it should be a highlight, but not when you live on the top floor of a third floor walkup. And that is I am a strong, self -sufficient, independent woman who had to haul
George B. Thomas (01:29.045)
Liz Moorehead (01:37.859)
four trips worth of boxes up and down my stairs this weekend. Will I have a booty that won't quit by the end of this summer? 100%. But I kid you not, there is one point this weekend where I was halfway up the last set of stairs and I just kind of sat down in the middle and I'm holding this giant box that had like pillows and a comforter in it and stuff like that.
George B. Thomas (01:41.002)
Hmm. Yeah.
George B. Thomas (02:01.551)
Yeah
Liz Moorehead (02:07.459)
I go, yeah, I know, but it wasn't because it's a velvet comforter. then also apparently there was a thank you, Amazon for combining things. So it was a comforter and a toaster. that was it was. Yeah. So I was sitting on the stairs and at one point I was just like, man, feminism, are we sure? So to be fair, yes, yes, 100 percent. But man, like I said.
George B. Thomas (02:07.586)
Well at least it was light.
George B. Thomas (02:13.208)
George B. Thomas (02:20.256)
Mmm, that's fun.
Liz Moorehead (02:34.593)
That would have been a very different story, not living on the top floor of a third floor walkup. Highlight was everything that came in those boxes. I sometimes like to joke that I have reverse seasonal depression. It gets too hot, it gets too sunny, people are a little too happy and chummy, and I'm just like, no, thank you. I come alive when it gets colder out. I come alive when even the most hint of pumpkin spice is in the air.
George B. Thomas (02:38.786)
Sure. Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (03:03.555)
I do, know, some people do spring cleaning and spring nesting. And the moment Starbucks drops their pumpkin spice, I am there, I am ready. I did, redid my entire room. Everything feels nice. Is it still going to be 90 degrees today? Yes, yes it is. But I'm just gonna gaslight myself into thinking we are moving beyond this, that summer's now coming to an abrupt and swift close. mean, Labor Day.
George B. Thomas (03:04.95)
Wow.
George B. Thomas (03:28.869)
Hmm, right. Yeah, it's like the leaves are already changing or something.
Liz Moorehead (03:32.375)
when we're recording this is almost here. So overall, yeah, absolutely. But no, it was just a great weekend. I redid my whole room. And the other thing that was nice too is it wasn't just about decorating. I took care of a lot of, maybe this is probably a metaphor. I took care of a lot of lingering around the home things that had been bothering me.
George B. Thomas (03:52.034)
Mmm.
George B. Thomas (03:56.689)
Liz Moorehead (03:58.477)
For example, my bed, absolutely love it. It's this gorgeous, big, wrought iron bed that has had a squeak. And I knew what was causing the squeak. I knew what was causing the squeak, and I just wasn't taking the time to fix it. But every night I get up or go to bed and every morning I wake up, squeaky, squeaky, and it annoyed me. Finally took care of that too. So it was just a bit of cleaning house, a little bit of cleaning shop.
George B. Thomas (04:06.612)
Mmm.
George B. Thomas (04:17.952)
Yeah.
George B. Thomas (04:22.828)
Love that. Yeah, sometimes you gotta do that.
Liz Moorehead (04:26.263)
Go ahead, George, whatever. Just what are your highlights and lowlights, George? What's going on?
George B. Thomas (04:30.528)
So, Lowlight, have you ever wanted something so much but you weren't sure if you would be able to get the thing in so then you have a day where you're like, well, I want it to happen, but is it gonna happen? Like, I want it to happen, is it gonna happen? And so I had a day where I basically sat outside on my back porch, listened to some country music, even...
smoked a cigar for the first time in about three months because I was just like, I need to take time to chill because there's this potential life event that would be really, really cool if it could happen. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna bring it up yet. If it happens, then I'll bring just maybe. So, so we'll see. So, so that was the low light is like what I would call it is this like
Liz Moorehead (05:03.213)
Wow.
Liz Moorehead (05:17.707)
Is this something you and I have talked about?
George B. Thomas (05:28.274)
mental roller coaster that I was at least able to drive and park it into where it needed to be parked by the time the day was over. But it was like, I knew that I needed to give myself that time. Now, let's move on to the more important thing. Yep, yep, yep, yep.
Liz Moorehead (05:45.823)
No, I'm just gonna put a pin in this and I just want you to this is both a threat and a promise. Sir, we had dedicated human time this past Friday to talk about our life and our dreams and our hopes.
George B. Thomas (05:54.508)
Yeah. Yeah, but this was on Sunday. all right, that happened before my thing that I just talked about on Sunday. but it is what is. So this week, especially end of week weekend, I feel like I did a great job as far as a father and a husband. Okay, let me explain. So first of all, I took both of my daughters out.
separately at different times out to dinner just Her both times because daughters and me And we had great conversations because we had this big life possible event thing that might happen and I wanted to pick their brain on like where they had where their head was and what they were thinking and what they're happy about and I Wanted to hear their dreams like if this thing does happen however
That's this. This was the moment for me. I'm sitting in my office. It's Saturday. I'm working on stuff, because I like to work. actually like, I feel like I'm playing, but I'm working on stuff.
And my wife comes in and says, we'll be back. It's my wife and my daughter. And I go, where are you going? And my wife says, well, Maddie's gonna get her nails done and I'm gonna get a pedicure. And I said, well, hang on, I'll go with you.
And so I'm sitting there and I'm like, if Liz could see me now as far as self care, because I literally got a manicure and a pedicure, got the foot massage, got the hot rocks, got the, got the oils on the legs, like all, and I'm ticklish by the way. So that was the fun part, but, but literally sat there and just like loved myself enough to get past. This isn't manly.
Liz Moorehead (07:39.902)
What?
George B. Thomas (07:57.688)
sat there with my daughter and my wife. We laughed. We had fun. And I absolutely enjoyed air quotes girl day at the like manicure pedicure place. So that was that was that's my highlight. And by the way, I don't know why waited till I was like 50 something years old to realize that you guys were hiding something and lying to us. Like I would have done this.
Liz Moorehead (08:23.873)
Lying to you?
George B. Thomas (08:25.014)
I would have done this years ago if I would have known what actually went down in this scenario. But anyway, that's the highlight.
Liz Moorehead (08:32.899)
Okay, first of all, first of all, why did you wait so long? Because you were the guy who like not three months ago when I sent you the outline for self care went, how do you feel about this outline, which is George speak for, what the flip are we talking about? And why are we here? I need an adult. So that's probably the answer to that question. Also, second, we are not hiding anything from you. We are not hiding anything from you.
George B. Thomas (08:33.974)
I told you I'd blow your mind.
George B. Thomas (08:49.464)
Exactly.
George B. Thomas (08:59.36)
I I wish I would have known earlier. Like, if you're a guy listening this and you haven't gone and got a pedicure at some point in your life, I'm just asking you to try it once, especially if it's a good, like, father -daughter or husband -wife bonding moment. Because what's crazy is when we're in there, this other lady that I had, I didn't know her from anywhere, she was like, yeah, I love when my husband comes with me. And I'm like, what, what, what?
Liz Moorehead (09:01.549)
Yeah, well you never asked.
Liz Moorehead (09:25.379)
Yeah. My ex -husband used to go with me every time. It was our, we had a little fancy pants Sunday. Yeah.
George B. Thomas (09:30.134)
Wow. Yeah, well, there you go. There you go. So that was that was the highlight manicure pedicure. But I just let it happen. It was beautiful.
Liz Moorehead (09:41.953)
And if you think for one second, I've forgotten that there's some sort of massive life thing that you've been hiding from me, I will come for you as soon as this mic is off. I will come for you.
George B. Thomas (09:47.999)
yeah. Well, not hiding, but you know, anyway.
Liz Moorehead (09:54.723)
OK. Anyway, we're not here to talk about George's willful acts of deception toward me and the fact that it's making me question every ounce of our friendship. No, no, that's the episode that George and Liz will be recording later privately out of earshot. We're here. I know. We are here to talk about a funny little topic. A funny, it is funny to me.
George B. Thomas (10:04.642)
That is not the episode.
George B. Thomas (10:12.15)
after this one.
George B. Thomas (10:20.628)
Is it funny?
Liz Moorehead (10:24.323)
because we're talking about love today, right? And my guess is this is not gonna be the last time we talk about love because we're gonna talk about something very specific when it comes to love today. You and I had a conversation a while ago when you were developing, or when we were talking about how we wanted to continue to develop the superhuman framework, right? Which are the 10 pillars we use to help us architect a life beyond your default. So honesty, humanity,
George B. Thomas (10:28.119)
Yeah.
George B. Thomas (10:32.941)
Yeah.
George B. Thomas (10:44.748)
Yeah, yeah.
Liz Moorehead (10:53.611)
humility, hustle, all of these different things. And then at one point during the conversation, we were talking and we said, well, love is, it's the reason for everything. It's the reason for everything, right? And then I said, well, that's strange. Love isn't, my gosh, we've never talked about love. We're on the 51st episode, by the way. This is our 50th episode, rather. We've never talked about love.
George B. Thomas (10:56.854)
Yeah.
George B. Thomas (11:06.082)
Yeah. Yeah.
George B. Thomas (11:17.997)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (11:24.009)
I ran a scan of all of the transcripts from every episode prior to this one.
The times the word has come up in the context of us talking about love, the, yeah, single digits, single digits.
George B. Thomas (11:39.992)
key point there the word, but go ahead.
George B. Thomas (11:45.14)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (11:48.545)
And when I asked you, why don't we talk about this? You said, well, I can't talk about that. You can't talk about that. Yeah, well, you knew this was coming. You've known this episode was coming for weeks. But before we dig into that, we're talking about today, when did love become uncool? Now, for some of you listening, might be like, what are you talking about? When did love become uncool? We're gonna get to that. But George, I wanna start today's conversation.
George B. Thomas (11:54.776)
Dang, I'm getting caught on the carpet right now.
George B. Thomas (12:03.714)
Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (12:17.901)
by asking you about the squishy part of what you talked about, the squishy, the squishy sweet part, right? Which is again, love is barely talked about on this podcast. It is suspiciously absent from the superhuman framework, which we will get to. No, no, no, I understand it's inferred, it's implied, it's the root, but we don't talk about it. For something so important, we do not talk about.
George B. Thomas (12:20.258)
Yeah. Yeah.
Yep.
George B. Thomas (12:33.762)
We'll get to that.
George B. Thomas (12:43.704)
It's a shush. It's a shush.
Liz Moorehead (12:46.849)
So, but I wanna start with the squishy part. I loved when you said out loud, you got all squishy about it too when you said it. Love is the reason for everything.
George B. Thomas (12:55.725)
Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (12:57.431)
When did love become the reason for everything for you? And was it always that way or was there a catalyst moment where that shifted?
George B. Thomas (13:04.872)
Yeah, I want to answer this question, but I also want to say why I said the word That was a key point the word that like single digits Listeners you need to know that the idea of this podcast and bring it to the world is based out of love You need to know that every episode that I've sat down to craft is out of love love for you love for the ability you have in your life like just
Liz Moorehead (13:10.293)
Mm -hmm.
George B. Thomas (13:32.992)
I would not take the time and pour out the love from myself and Liz, same as what I'm saying, if we did not love you, believe in you and think that this could be the catalyst for you to get the places that you're trying to get in your life. while we might not say the word, this whole thing comes from a place of love. So Liz.
Liz Moorehead (13:59.043)
I'm doing it for the snacks. I don't know what you're talking about.
George B. Thomas (14:01.304)
I didn't even know we had snacks. Where's that room at in the office? Anyway, so so here's the thing, Liz. I have to break this down because it happened in multiple phases. Phase one, though, as I sat back and thought historically of my life, which you're making me do more and more as we get closer and closer to writing the book and getting the book out to the world, I was transported back to. Cardwell, Montana, when I was 15.
Liz Moorehead (14:05.485)
here.
George B. Thomas (14:31.224)
And I had forgotten about this. Like, I haven't really, I don't know if I've ever talked about this publicly, but I was transported back to Cardwell, Montana when I was 15 and I had started to go to church because we moved into a new community from Bozeman, Montana. And one of the things that they did is they would have the kids occasionally do a sermon. And we'd had, we stood up in front of the church and we actually gave a sermon.
I gave my sermon, Liz, on love. And the sermon that I gave, it talked about love being messy and why love was messy and how we needed to think about love. And I went through and I talked about love. Now, Liz, I have a question for you. When you think of the word love, what do you immediately think of?
Liz Moorehead (15:28.001)
I don't immediately think of one thing, love encompasses so many things.
George B. Thomas (15:31.608)
Okay, what do you think of?
Liz Moorehead (15:34.819)
hugs, genuine caring. I don't know, it's...
George B. Thomas (15:43.906)
see that right there. And by the way, Seth, leave the pause in. Because it was an I don't know pause, right? And and while that's the problem, that's the problem. And so most people when they they like, they think of it as a four letter word, love, well, it's love. And it's puppies and kittens and romcoms. And you know, it's it's just love.
Liz Moorehead (15:45.528)
Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (15:51.701)
It's so many things. How do you even quantify it? Yeah.
George B. Thomas (16:11.882)
In this sermon, I actually talked about euros, which is romantic love. Like it's the passionate, you know, physical attraction, intense emotions. We talk about falling in love in the sermon that I gave. talk about filo, which is the deep friendship connection based mutual respect, loyalty, shared values usually found in close friendships. Or if you like your
brother or sister in sibling relationships. You may or may not have that listeners. Storage, which is the familial love, the natural unconditional love between family members like deep emotional bond between parents and their children. Agape love. Okay, this is the unconditional or the universal love, the selfless, the
altruistic love, extended to all people, characterized by compassion and commitment to others. Their well -being without expecting anything in return. I'm getting goosebumps. Ladies and gentlemen, if you've listened to this podcast, historically, you've heard me talk about expectations. You've heard me talk about commitment to others.
Literally, I just started this podcast of like it is coming from a place of love, coming from a place of service, being built for you. Agape, unconditional, universal love. We've got Lutus, which is the playful love, right? Pragma, which is the enduring or practical love. This is like the long term stable love based on mutual respect, understanding, shared goals. It's found in mature relationships or long term partnerships.
We've got self love, right? Like there's just so many mania, obsessive love, compassionate love, like there's there's so many things in so many ways. And here's the thing, usually in our culture, love never goes that deep. People don't think about, well, what kind of love
George B. Thomas (18:25.704)
am I in or feeling or leveraging or being part of. And so all of that to say like love can be messy, love can be confusing. And I have always been the type of guy that like, I'm like, well, let's simplify the complex. I don't know if I figured out how to simplify the complexities of love. Therefore,
We have really not talked about it at a super deep level, but I will say that one thing, when I was thinking about this sermon, was like, my God, I hadn't put this piece together. But I remember when I gave this sermon, how impacted I was and how I said it 15 years old, ooh, my life goal.
I want to grow up as a Gape love. I want to be selfless. I want to extend to all people. I want to be compassionate and committed to others' -being. I want to be able to temper my expectations so that I can be the best and show up the best.
So Liz, that was like phase one of this whole like understanding there are different layers and levels of love to actually pay attention to. At Trinity Baptist, Pastor Dave Wright, I've talked about him before on the podcast, he did a sermon called Treasures in Trash Cans. And it was during that sermon that I realized that I have to love myself. Dude, you've been dirty. You've done dirt.
But at the end of the day, you're a treasure. Like, God made you in a certain way, so like moving forward from this day forward, you have to love yourself. And when I think about that, I tap back into that original sermon and the layers of love in which I should have for myself and those around me. And so you have this like understanding of the structure of different loves. You have this moment in time where it's like you need to love yourself so that you can...
George B. Thomas (20:40.086)
love others, which Liz, we talk about in other podcast episodes, the blessing bomber. And so this is the third phase of like, if you're going to be a blessing bomber, guess what, homie? You're going to have to love them. You're going to have to love them with agape love, with zero expectations, because blessing bombers don't look back. They just bless and they go.
Because they're not there for the rewards. They're there for the blessing to be that thing that they're supposed to be. And so like it's always there. It's it's part of who we are. But again, it it's just messy and it's hard to unpack and and not to mention like and we'll talk about this, but if if I say love to a room full of people.
the amount of people that are gonna feel like me.
George B. Thomas (21:45.08)
because there's some ways that love ain't cool. There's some ways that love ain't been used right. Anyway, that's where the three main phases of my life where I think this pick up love and roll with it comes from.
Liz Moorehead (22:05.515)
It's so funny. As soon as you said agape, it reminded me of the fact, know, long time listeners, remember, you may remember our hyena energy episode. And there was a particular artist who had created some cards that we talked about. I have this from her as well. And that cool. and that neat. I was about to
George B. Thomas (22:21.714)
Ayyyy, there we go. By the way, if you're not watching this, yeah, go ahead. You go ahead.
Liz Moorehead (22:29.067)
No, there, she has these, she's an artist, so she has these beautiful pieces about the different types of love, and it's just this really cool piece of artwork about Agape. I love it. Anyway.
George B. Thomas (22:38.764)
Yes.
Liz Moorehead (22:45.857)
I find your answer very interesting because you seem to be such a champion of love. You've preached about love. Love is your reason, the reason, et cetera, et But let's go back to what I mentioned earlier, because when I asked you in a previous conversation privately why it's been so absent in every conversation we've had so far in the podcast, once again, you said, can't say love is the reason for everything. You can't say that.
George B. Thomas (22:52.513)
yeah, without a doubt.
Liz Moorehead (23:16.492)
Why?
George B. Thomas (23:17.858)
I wish I would have never said that to you. So here's one of the things, and by the way, that conversation with you and this prep for the podcast in this podcast is making me think about why I said that and the actions that might take place after all of this. But historically, and today I'll say, am this hyper -focused
are not offending humans. If I offend you, it is very hard for me to bless you. If I am the typical person that might walk around with the love two by four, I might knock you out. And it's really hard to have a conversation if I knock you out. I may put you out of the place of being able to listen. Liz, I've always had this mindset or mentality.
And when I say always, I'll say the last 20 to 25 years that I've actually been trying to do good on the earth. I have this Johnny Appleseed mentality where instead of like most or some loving Christians like to hit people over the forehead with their proverbial two by fours. I've had more of a Johnny Appleseed where I'm like trying to just plant some seeds and if they grow, they
will grow. But again, it's because I've been hit in the forehead with a two by four and I didn't like the way it felt. It didn't feel like love to me. Therefore, I didn't want to return that to the world knowing how it felt to me. And honestly, it's also because the understanding of negative outlooks
and misunderstandings of the word love. Like what's around it? Like, let's be honest. I don't know if agape love is the first thing that came to anybody's mind when I said, hey, Liz, talk to me about love. Like love is often hyped up and packaged like a product in today's society. It's the cheesy raw.
Liz Moorehead (25:38.039)
Well, according to Hallmark, it is a product.
George B. Thomas (25:41.528)
Yeah, the Hallmark Channel. my god, the amount of... Yeah. My wife... Especially Christmas. Like, Christmas. Hallmark Channel during Christmas or Christmas in July. I swear to god it's on 24 hours a day. I love my wife. You know how I know I love my wife? Because I'll sit and watch them with her and know that we watched the dang thing last year. I'm just saying. But anyway.
Liz Moorehead (25:44.141)
And I say that as someone who loves Hallmark Channel movies, that is a secret shame of mine, and I love them. They're the best.
the best.
Liz Moorehead (25:58.605)
It's cause your wife, your wife is a good person.
George B. Thomas (26:08.216)
It is packaged up like a product. And again, you think about the cheesy rom -coms, the Valentine Day ads. And it sounds like great, no harm, no foul, but this builds up our expectations as humans that love should be this perfect and magical thing. And so when real life doesn't match up, it's super easy to feel disappointed because, whoa.
My life isn't the Hallmark channel. My life isn't the Valentine's card. I mean, and by the way, we have to think that we have listeners all over the world, right? In some places, showing love openly is seen as weak or naive, especially when a society, I could so go somewhere right now, being tough, independent.
makes love uncool or embracing love uncool. That's not manly. What is wrong with him?
Not to mention, most of us, by a show of hands that I can't see, how many of you been hurt in life? Like when people experience hurt, betrayal, when we're let down, like it's natural for us to become cynical and start to think that, love is just a fantasy. I'll never be able to get it. I'll never reach it. I thought I had it, but it was elusive. It slipped through my fingertips.
For some of us, love has been associated with like counter cultural movements. Damn hippies. them Jesus lovers. Like, and it becomes dismissed as like this unrealistic or overly idealistic, traditional for those groups. Liz, we've talked about on this podcast, the good vibes only, like the toxic positives.
Liz Moorehead (28:13.279)
or toxic positivity.
George B. Thomas (28:14.488)
My god like like the good vibes only mindset can make love feel forced and fake which by the way Love should never be forced or faked but but being told to stay positive and loving all the time can start to feel like Pressured like you feel like you're in life's pressure cooker And the funny thing about this is be good vibes only like it makes love seem shallow
and insincere and love is a very deep well. Like true love, the real love is a very deep well. I'm gonna throw this out there and I've kind of alluded to it. For those who religious institutions have hurt, hearing messages about love can even feel hypocritical or painful.
Liz, I've said on this podcast, I thought Christians were the most hypocritical people I've met in my life. By the way, people in other religions might say that about other religious people. Like, I'm not just drawing the line at Christians, but like, look, hurt people hurt people and hurt people are in churches because they're trying to get healed. my God, like, what what do you think is going to happen around this? We live in a very, by the way, I love the world. I love humans.
But if I look around, we live in a very self -centered world. Ideas like selflessness and community love. They probably look and feel outdated and irrelevant in many of the human's lives that might be listening to this podcast. And if you're listening to this for the first time, this might be the best episode for you to start this journey on, to be honest with you. But we have this pressure to find the
perfect romantic relationship. That can be overwhelming. know, then all of sudden, love is a source of stress. Love isn't supposed to be stressful. Love is supposed to be the unlock element for all the other things in our life. Like, I can't wait, because I want to talk about love to the H's, because you kind of threw me on the carpet of like, how come it's not in the superhuman framework? I'm like,
George B. Thomas (30:32.268)
Like, my God, I'm doing everybody a disservice in not talking about how this is like a fundamental piece, but like love is not supposed to be a stress inducer.
George B. Thomas (30:45.1)
The last thing I'm gonna say on this, and if you've ever been part of this, I apologize if the person has not apologized for themselves, because this is like the, this is the one that pisses me off the most. Unfortunately, love can also be used as a tool to control toxic relationships.
They leave people bitter and disillusioned to what the true meaning of love is and and the power in which love could have for them moving forward. But they're not willing to embrace it. It's no longer cool. It's hurtful. And so, Liz, like, why why have I tempered myself historically? Because, dang gummit, like, love is messy.
And love is different for every single human and the journey that they've gone through or had the opportunity, depending on how you look at it, to go through to mold their story. And honestly, this is one of the hardest places that I look at because I can look at most humans and I'd be like, this is where I need to meet them. they need a little more hustle. They need a little more happiness. They need a little bit more health.
But when I try to turn on the love gauge, I'm like, I don't know. I don't know.
Liz Moorehead (32:23.501)
So a few things. Number one, I don't know if you watched my reaction as soon as you said I was worried about offending people. Man, the content therapist strategist in me, my little antenna went up because if you are, exactly because if you are, this is a total side tangent, but if you are focusing,
George B. Thomas (32:32.95)
Yeah. Yeah.
George B. Thomas (32:42.476)
Brut Brut Brut
George B. Thomas (32:48.524)
I know, I know.
Liz Moorehead (32:51.275)
If you are focusing on not offending people, that means you are not focusing on your purpose.
George B. Thomas (32:53.9)
Hang on, hang on, me lay on the couch real quick. Go ahead, go ahead.
Liz Moorehead (32:57.859)
Okay, yeah. If you're focused on not offending people, you are basically absolving anybody of any responsibility to sit through the discomfort of being exposed to new feelings and new ideas and new thoughts. And also sometimes someone being uncomfortable with something that you're sharing with them, that actually speaks more about them than it does about you. I think two things can be true. I think you can go into any conversation and say,
I am here to be purposeful, I am here to be productive, and I am here to be constructive. I'm here to listen and I'm here to be open. But the moment you switch or flip that switch to, I don't wanna offend, right? That's not how that works. That's not speaking with your true voice. Sometimes discomfort is the pathway to growth and you have to get comfortable, you are.
George B. Thomas (33:31.985)
Yeah.
George B. Thomas (33:42.764)
Yeah.
George B. Thomas (33:53.632)
I'm in trouble. I'm in trouble. I feel like I'm in the principal's office right now. Dang gone in -
Liz Moorehead (33:55.937)
You're in trouble, but here's what I will also say.
No, but you also brought up a number of really good points that resonated with me because when I think about certain things like, well, why don't I like talking about love? Mine felt a little bit more, I don't know, not as well thought out as yours, right? I wasn't uncomfortable talking about love because I don't want to offend people. It had nothing to do with anybody else. I just didn't want to look like a hippie. So there's that, right?
George B. Thomas (34:09.207)
Mm
George B. Thomas (34:24.33)
Nah!
Liz Moorehead (34:26.775)
You know, because the moment somebody, you know, it's all about love, man, I'm like, aha, so where's the pamphlet you're giving me, right? Like, what's happening here? So there's that piece of it. Like, I don't wanna look like a ding dong. There other piece of it too is what you mentioned. We don't wanna admit how much we want it. We don't wanna talk about how we're worried. We don't want, vote.
George B. Thomas (34:31.992)
She's love. Mmm, yeah. Yup.
George B. Thomas (34:48.625)
Mmm. Vulnerability. You're knocking on the door of vulnerability right now, by the way.
Liz Moorehead (34:56.32)
You don't wanna talk about how much you want it. You don't wanna talk about how much you're worried you won't have it. Love is very interesting in that it reminds me a lot of the concept of happiness. Happy is not a four letter word, it's a five letter word. It is one that people struggle to define. Like everything you were saying about love, I'm like, did we already record this episode? yeah, it's called happiness, right? Everything about these very quote unquote simple ideals that quote unquote everybody wants.
We all want to be happy. We all want love, except none of us chuckleheads know how to define it. And we're always worried we're not going to have it. And any time we try to chase it, that is exactly the point we will repel it. Like it is, the whole conversation is completely backward and inverted.
George B. Thomas (35:42.216)
So I have to go sideways for a second and then we can get back on love. It's funny you said happiness is a five -letter word. yeah, well, so happy is a five -letter word that's actually masking the three -letter word that you're looking for. I'm just letting everybody know it's joy.
Liz Moorehead (35:45.101)
Go for it.
Liz Moorehead (35:50.679)
Why so happy?
Liz Moorehead (36:00.183)
It's a joy. Yeah.
George B. Thomas (36:02.176)
Joy is what you should be seeking. Like I have this whole thing that I'm, I can't wait till I can bring this to the world of like a mental shift from success to significance. And I have very much another mental switch is like happiness. It's joy. I'm looking for joy. But anyway, we're here for love. That's another podcast episode. We're here for love.
Liz Moorehead (36:20.621)
Well, here's what I would say.
Here's what would say. Joy is a state of being. Love for me is an act.
George B. Thomas (36:30.784)
Yep.
but it is action, but it's a little bit of, I'll say a little bit of both, but yes, I agree with you. Yes, but I do agree. Love is an action. Love is a choice.
Liz Moorehead (36:35.211)
It's an action for me.
Liz Moorehead (36:40.823)
Little column A, little column A.
Liz Moorehead (36:47.683)
And one of my favorite things about love is, and I've written about this in the newsletter quite a bit, beyondyourdefault .com forward slash newsletter, where I talk a lot about polar, thank you, thank you. I like to talk about opposites and polarities, right? I like to talk about this idea of two things are almost always true at the same time. And often, if you want something, in order to achieve it, you actually need to do the exact opposite.
George B. Thomas (36:57.473)
good placement there. was good. Yeah.
George B. Thomas (37:16.001)
Yes.
Liz Moorehead (37:17.165)
You want something to go faster, you need to slow down. You want life to get easy, George, just like you talk about, do hard things, right? What's fascinating is that if you want to achieve love outside of yourself, look inward and start loving yourself as hard as you can. One of my favorite things to say is the...
George B. Thomas (37:35.875)
Facts.
Go get a mani -pedi, that's our favorite thing to say. Love yourself within, I'm just saying.
Liz Moorehead (37:41.837)
Honestly, true, I got my nails done this weekend, it's pretty. No, if you want, once you start pouring love into yourself, it becomes so much easier to pour love into the world. Without a doubt. But.
George B. Thomas (37:51.51)
without a doubt. So true. That should be like the quote of the episode. That right there should be the quote of the episode at the very top of the show notes.
Liz Moorehead (37:57.462)
Thank you.
Liz Moorehead (38:02.753)
Like, and what's really funny about it is that, so this is the longest I have ever been single in my whole life. Longest I've ever, I hated it for a while. Absolutely hated it, but that was because I was learning how to be alone. And what was fascinating about it is I realized, Liz, are you chasing love or are you trying to avoid your fear of loneliness? Which I've talked about very deeply on this episode. What is my why? I have felt true loneliness. I have felt.
George B. Thomas (38:08.546)
Does it feel good?
Hmm
George B. Thomas (38:16.503)
Yes.
George B. Thomas (38:29.464)
Mm.
Liz Moorehead (38:32.599)
darkness I have felt not being seen. Now I'm about let's see about a year and a half since Patrick and I split up and I went on a date on Friday it was fine the spark wasn't there he was really nice guy it was mutual we both were like this was great not there it was really nice to meet you just not really you know for I wasn't upset I was fine I I would and it's so funny.
George B. Thomas (38:55.52)
Yeah, interesting.
Liz Moorehead (39:00.587)
I've gotten to this weird place where it's like, I'm just really kind of happy being me. And then I realized, man.
George B. Thomas (39:08.376)
Maybe that's the quote for the episode. Like, I hope the listeners understand how, and I hope you understand, how powerful that statement is. I'm just happy being me.
Liz Moorehead (39:15.523)
haha
Liz Moorehead (39:22.883)
Well, that's the love story we always ignore. We always seek love stories without, but the first one we need to forge is with ourselves, which this is where I get to the answer to this question for myself. I don't wanna sound like a hippie. I don't want to sound like, because if you grew up in the DC area, you were very used to anytime you went to museum, somebody was coming up to talk to you about Krishna and like love and all this stuff. you know, it was very,
George B. Thomas (39:28.833)
Yes.
George B. Thomas (39:35.67)
Yeah.
George B. Thomas (39:43.042)
Liz Moorehead (39:51.637)
It's just not cool to love love, which is funny to me because love is at the center of so much of our pop culture, right? There are songs, movies, every Hallmark Channel movie that you've ever watched, even though I'm pretty sure, George, you think it's all just one movie that they just recast and Everything in our pop culture is about love.
George B. Thomas (39:56.192)
Hmm.
George B. Thomas (40:11.969)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (40:17.719)
whether they're explicitly love songs or they're breakup songs or they're rom -coms. There's a running joke which is actually a very serious issue. There's a test, I think it's called like the bedshell test, the bedshell test, I can't remember, where it's like very few movies pass it and the test is, are there scenes in the movie with two women where they're not talking about men? Like love and relationships are so centered in our culture and yet,
George B. Thomas (40:45.016)
Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (40:45.517)
There are so many people like us, George, who do not want to admit its importance in our lives, if we're even ready to acknowledge it at all. So that gets to the title of this episode. When did love become uncool? When did this happen?
George B. Thomas (41:02.012)
Yeah. So I want to unpack a couple things. I don't know, because in the questions slash statements that you're just making, I don't know if true, true love is at the center of pop culture. I think there's a carnival fun mirror version of love in the center of pop culture, but it's not...
Liz Moorehead (41:25.827)
Twilight is about stalking. He just happens to be hot. Love at the center of, I'm rewatching Scandal right now, and everybody worships Kerry Washington and Tony Goldwyn, who played the president and Olivia Pope, and don't get me wrong, I love that show, and Tony Goldwyn, like, call me. But like, that is an obsessive, unhealthy relationship, and he like, he murders a lot of people. it's not, none of this is healthy.
George B. Thomas (41:33.58)
Yeah.
George B. Thomas (41:48.822)
Yeah. Yeah. Which... Anyway, okay, let's let me move on. I was about to be real vulnerable and talk about my fascination with one of the shows that you just mentioned, the movies that you just mentioned, but let's let's continue on. Yeah. Yeah. Well.
Liz Moorehead (42:03.947)
Are we sure? You said you were going to be vulnerable. That was stupid. Say it.
George B. Thomas (42:12.514)
Team Jacob, does that say anything? Like, does anybody listening this know what it means when I say, anyway, let's just go ahead and... Yeah, let's just...
Liz Moorehead (42:18.539)
I'm an elder millennial girl. Of course, honestly, both of them, team nobody, team Bella going off and finding herself maybe, like go to San Francisco.
George B. Thomas (42:25.592)
Do you know what?
George B. Thomas (42:31.862)
Yeah, I binge the crap. I binge the crap out of those movies. I'm just going to throw that out there. It's like, I know that I shouldn't be watching this, but I don't care. Here's my man card. Give me the popcorn. OK, so so. Yeah, that's probably going to be a social post from somebody at some point listening to this podcast anyway.
Liz Moorehead (42:36.417)
I watch them once a year. I watch them once a year.
Liz Moorehead (42:44.045)
George B. Thomas, Twilight Lover, I'm here for it.
George B. Thomas (42:54.96)
But my point is, I don't know if true love is actually at the center of pop culture or the center of anything. Because again, if I go back to true love, I go back to like the agape style love, if I'm using true love or the one that is not the selfish version of what or the controlling version. And there's a lot of selfish and controlling love that is shown in the center of pop culture. here's the thing, though.
The other piece that I had discomfort in, and I know where it came from because it's a launching pad from our original conversation of, can't talk about that. I would say that I do admit its importance. The importance of love in my own life. Just many times, it's to myself, or my family, or my close, close...
close friends.
This is the first time that I'm taking it as far as just to put it out in the world. But that's because...
of a level of trying to be careful.
George B. Thomas (44:16.926)
about not running and you even mentioned it like in DC. Hey girl, I'd love to tell you it happens everywhere. We're in North Carolina and we got people with cardboard signs and megaphones. You're going to Jen Jackson. You're going to hell. We love you. No, just be quiet. Like just stop. Just stop. And if you've been that person, I'm sorry. I don't mean to offend you, but just stop. Like I've I've tried to be so careful about not running people over with the love steamroller.
Because that's not what it's about. Like, I'm not trying to flatten anybody out. I'm not trying to like, no. But Liz, I think based on the conversation that got us to this episode.
why people might look at love like it's uncool. And we've kind of alluded to some of these, but.
Past hurts and disappointments are like a major thing that we need to be cognizant of when we get into this conversation of love, true love, unpacking love, loving ourselves, loving others. Like, and vulnerability, by the way. But most of us have been hurt by love in some way, some time, whether it's through breakups, toxic or bad friendships, family issues, like, you know how I know that we've all had this?
Because we're all humans and humans are going to human like. Yeah, yeah, well, if any listener listens to any podcast episode that we've ever done, they'll be like, no, Liz, you're you're human and the humans in your life human and you're human too. And like, but that's we're just trying to be authentically vulnerable humans on this podcast explaining like, hey, everybody's life is messy. But but those experiences with.
Liz Moorehead (45:45.923)
I'm special, shut up. I'm different. No.
George B. Thomas (46:11.434)
you know, breakups or friendships or families, like... I know you can't see them, but they leave scars. Like, it's like, that's the thing, if I cut my arm on accident, I'm gonna see a scar on my arm. If you cut my heart...
If you cut my emotions, if you cut my love, the scars there and you can't see it. But after enough scarring, after enough pain, it is really easy to start associating love with heartache instead of happiness. And love is like a foundational element of happiness. Liz, we jokingly talked about the Hallmark Channel, but commercialization and
creating love is this ideal. We're freaking bombarded with this. And by the way, it's not just the romantic movies, the rom -coms that we joked about. Freaking go look at your Instagram feed.
You got to constant talk about finding the one. You know, I found the one a long time ago when I was 14. I accepted Jesus in my life. That's the one. Like, do I happen to have other people that come into my life that I love? Yes. Am I happen to be married to the love of my life, my wife, Kelly? Yes. Do I happen to love my kids? Yes. But what? Finding the one. Like, no. Like priorities, come on.
Bring it in. Let's have a talk. Real deal. Holy. Because here's the thing, when life doesn't match up to the perfect fantasy that we're scrolling through on the Instagram feed, the Facebook feed, the whatever feed, when it doesn't look like it looks in the carnival mirror of our TV screens, then all of a we feel like we're the problem. what happens then? Well, then we start wondering if we should trust ourself.
George B. Thomas (48:16.984)
Should we love ourself? Is there something wrong with us? And so the toxic exterior is starting to create a toxic interior and they're both eroding because of the... Anyway. Vulnerability and fear. Two things that we've talked about on this podcast historically. Go check out the other episodes. We'll make sure there's links in the description if you haven't listened to them. Listen, there is no way around what I am about to say.
Loving someone means putting yourself out there. Loving someone means being real. Loving someone means showing your true self. Now, let's be honest, that's freaking terrifying. Like, if you think that it's easy to put yourself out there, be real, and show your true self, you're probably lying to yourself, because that stuff is difficult. Like,
We fundamentally wear masks, we build walls, we've got all sorts of metaphors on how we keep ourselves safe.
George B. Thomas (49:25.356)
especially difficult to do those things when we live in a world that praises independence and toughness. So admitting that we need love or that it hurts when we don't get it can make us feel weak. Liz, we've talked about when did love stop being cool? The cool factor. Somewhere along the way in our society,
staying emotionally distant became the cool thing to do. James Dean, the Fonz, free, independent, don't need anybody, on your Harley, riding down the road. Like, there's this this thing that we're trying to like not get people like instead of being genuine and open, we've turned to like irony, sarcasm.
and playing it cool as a defense.
Trust me. And I think this is why I talk about the like historical George and the now George.
For many humans like myself, being guarded is the norm.
George B. Thomas (50:46.04)
And if being guarded is the norm, love ain't cool anymore.
George B. Thomas (50:54.592)
And if love ain't cool anymore, you can't seek and find the thing that you need most.
Liz Moorehead (51:05.165)
So I've got a couple of thoughts here as evidenced by the fact that you watched me pick up my notebook and start taking notes. Mm -hmm. Because I got to know you brought up a lot of really important things that I think we need to talk about here. First of all, and I want to dig a deeper on the pop culture aspect of it. Has anybody ever noticed that our favorite love stories end right when the actual love story begins? Like all of these movies that we change. Don't get me wrong. Your girl loves a rom -com.
George B. Thomas (51:09.056)
You just picked up your notebook. I'm like, am I going to the principal's office again?
George B. Thomas (51:29.11)
Mmm.
Liz Moorehead (51:35.063)
Your girl loves Sleepless in Seattle. Your girl loves all of these movies, right? No, I actually really don't like The Notebook. I think they're incredibly toxic. She kind of sucks. I just rewatched Notting Hill recently and I felt like, were we all gaslit into thinking Julia Roberts' character was nice? She's actually kind of awful to him. It's crazy.
George B. Thomas (51:38.7)
The notebook? Come on. what? Are you serious? That's a whole other episode then, because...
George B. Thomas (51:57.784)
So that's interesting where your mind is on these things. Go ahead.
Liz Moorehead (52:06.355)
No, because here's the thing. When I watched a lot of these movies when I was younger, I loved Notting Hill, right? my gosh, he's a bookshop owner, falls in love with an actress, but she never listens to him. She's actually this weird kind of detached, aloof person. And then there are numerous times where she does things that in a normal, healthy relationship, he has every right to be upset. For example, the first time they are together,
George B. Thomas (52:19.704)
you
Liz Moorehead (52:36.287)
She's actually still with a boyfriend. He doesn't know that. He finds that out later. And I kept waiting for this moment of her to go and say, you know, he thinks we're still together. I've tried to break up with him numerous times. I didn't know he was going to be here. Da da da da da. And instead, it turns out they actually are still in a whole ass relationship together. She is still with Alec Baldwin. And then she gets mad at him because he doesn't understand what it's like to live a life in the spotlight. Like, it's just absolutely banana stuff.
George B. Thomas (52:40.151)
Terrible.
George B. Thomas (52:56.603)
geez.
Liz Moorehead (53:06.411)
I also think this has to do with very bad writing because every single other character is very well developed in the movie. Like everybody, she is just this weird anomaly that doesn't make any sense. But to my broader point, think about how pop culture presents all of these great love stories. I was joking about earlier, but the love story between Olivia Pope and President FitzGrant is insane. He is a stalker. He is not a healthy person. That is obsession.
George B. Thomas (53:23.084)
Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (53:36.439)
That is infatuation. That is he has put her on such a high pedestal. She is not even Olivia Pope anymore. She is an escapist fantasy because he hates his own life. Like I'm sure there's also the love component. And don't get me wrong again, I love scandal. I love Olivia Pope. I love Fitz Grant. like pop culture teaches us and says these things are love. So then we think, these things are love. But
George B. Thomas (53:40.904)
Yeah
Liz Moorehead (54:04.269)
They're not. Love is forged. you're talking about romantic love, familial love, friendship love. Again, I've written about this in the newsletter. You have all the great memories, have all the beautiful moments, but the moments that bring you closer to someone, the moment that makes you go, yes. Are the moments where you have to do hard things together? Are the moments where you have to choose each other even and especially when it's hard?
George B. Thomas (54:16.408)
Yeah.
George B. Thomas (54:33.346)
Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (54:34.273)
You know, even when my ex -husband and I split up, it was very challenging because we were having conversations where we had to kind of admit to each other, we're doing this because we love each other. This is not the way anything is supposed to be. Love shows up, yeah, exactly, love shows up in these weird ways, but think about what pop culture teaches us. You either have someone or you don't and you're broken.
George B. Thomas (54:47.757)
Yeah.
deeper than romantic love. That's the thing, like...
Liz Moorehead (55:02.915)
you have this type of love and if it doesn't look like this type of love, which is by the way, Hollywoodification, is infatuation, it explores one very specific part of a relationship and then it's quote, happily ever after. So there's that piece of it, right? And then you brought up something fascinating, right? You brought up the idea of the true self. You have to show your true self.
George B. Thomas (55:11.554)
Yeah.
George B. Thomas (55:23.33)
Mmm.
Liz Moorehead (55:29.911)
And this is where that idea comes in first, right? You have to pour love into yourself before you can pour love into the world. But if you pour love into yourself, it becomes far easier to do that. And it enables other people to do the same for you. But that require, in order to show your true self, a couple of things have to happen first. It's not step one, show your true self. Step one is allow yourself to see yourself.
George B. Thomas (55:43.224)
Liz Moorehead (55:54.327)
Because that's often what happens. We're not just wearing a mask to the world about who we are. We're wearing that mask with ourselves. Because at some point, we trained ourselves to only be a version of ourselves. That version is what is acceptable. That version is what we're allowed to be. yeah, and that is how we end up in these bizarre situations where instead of trying to assert and find true belonging, we try to fit in.
George B. Thomas (56:02.712)
Preach
Liz Moorehead (56:22.391)
We can tort ourselves like a paperclip. So in order to actually show our true self to others, we first need to look in the mirror, see ourselves and say, this is okay. This is more than okay. That is the only way you get comfortable doing.
George B. Thomas (56:34.368)
Yeah. By the way, I have to throw this in. When you're looking in that mirror, make sure you're looking in the Gapé mirror.
Liz Moorehead (56:44.262)
yeah.
George B. Thomas (56:45.516)
I'm just saying, like a couple of things come to mind, Liz. It's funny, you mentioned a lot of chaotic words that were masquerading as love, right? Like it's this, this is, and I was transported into, it's masquerading as love. And this is probably why my grandpa said garbage in, garbage out. Because you see it, you now believe it. It's funny, go, I think it was AT &T did the commercial where it's like,
If it's online, it's true, right? Bonjour! Like the French guy, I'm like, no, that's not, especially in a world of AI, like believe none of what you see, half of what you hear. Like the world is just changing. And so like we're programmed through all of these ways that we think love is, or we were supposed to believe in love. And so this literally makes me want to talk about like in an episode of like
Liz Moorehead (57:17.773)
Ha ha ha ha.
George B. Thomas (57:43.874)
good ways to guard yourself around what you allow in your life based on what you want to export from your life. man, this is such a good conversation. Dang, God.
Liz Moorehead (57:58.295)
Yeah, this is where it gets just really fascinating because it's this whole idea of exactly what you said, right? What we take in informs our worldview. It shapes what we believe is good, bad, or neutral about ourselves, about our lives, about what we want, about who we are. And we live in a bit of a strange society, right? And our country is founded.
upon this ideal of individualism via individualism. We rise, I know, right? We rise by quote unquote being our most authentic selves, championing ourselves, but that's actually not true. That is actually not true. We have a very low tolerance for things that do not conform, right?
George B. Thomas (58:34.983)
Say that five times fast.
Liz Moorehead (58:52.065)
This is a whole separate episode that we do need to have a conversation about, but if we talk about it from the perspective of love, this is where you need to start asking yourself, are you seeking without what you should be seeking within first?
George B. Thomas (58:54.433)
Yeah.
George B. Thomas (59:06.072)
Maybe that's the quote of the episode. Dang gone.
Liz Moorehead (59:10.979)
And the other thing you need to ask yourself is, is it really actually uncool or do you know love is the coolest thing in the world and you just don't think it's cool to say it out loud? Because my guess is it's that. My guess, hey, that's me. Don't you dare. Don't you dare. That's hurtful. So okay, George, why isn't it in the superhuman framework? What the heck?
George B. Thomas (59:24.672)
It's cool, but I'm afraid.
George B. Thomas (59:31.456)
I'm just, I'm saying.
George B. Thomas (59:37.334)
I had so many emotions when I saw this question. I first wanted to cry, but I wanted to cry and then I wanted to scream because it is part of the superhuman framework, dang on it. But no, no, no, no, it's, but it is. Here's the thing, we actually haven't had a chance to dig in and talk about this underlying foundation that is part of the 10H elements. And by the way, I did a...
Liz Moorehead (59:40.961)
You knew it was coming!
Liz Moorehead (59:46.365)
No, it's infused and inferred, but it's not a thing.
George B. Thomas (01:00:02.2)
interview with Chris Carolyn, a friend of mine around like the business side of this, because we're taking the superhuman framework from just personal growth to personal teams and organizational culture, because we've just seen this like massive impact and being able to talk around it this way. But in a conversation that I was having with him,
I was talking about it's the underlying foundation. It's almost like the table stakes that one needs to be thinking about when they layer on the 10 H's above and that's love, purpose, passion and persistence. Like those four words, love, purpose, passion and persistence are so entangled and entwined in the 10 H's in the life that you're trying to live when you're trying to live a life beyond your default. And so I wanna give examples of like, it is in the framework.
It's like the veins or the arteries of the framework. And so what it might look like is like if we look at happiness, love is more than just a fleeting feeling or a feel good moment. It's what makes happiness deep and lasting if we have love tied into it. When we genuinely love others and ourselves, like we've talked about so far on this podcast, happiness becomes more than just a passing emotion. It's something that sticks around.
grow stronger, radiating out from us and around us, it becomes happiness, transforms itself into what I might call joy. Listen, we think about health, love, especially self -love, going and getting manny and petty, not just to take better care of ourselves, it motivates us to develop healthy habits, and it motivates us to practice self -care and kindness, and when we're surrounded,
By love from others, we get the emotional support we need to stay mentally strong, mentally healthy. If we look at hustle and hungry, the words that we've combined together, love is the fire that fuels our drive and passion. It's what makes us hungry for more, more knowledge, more growth, more success. When we truly love our goals, the people in our lives and
George B. Thomas (01:02:15.274)
and life itself, we stay motivated to keep pushing forward. If I think about helpful in the framework, when love is at the heart of what we do,
Helping others isn't just something we do out of obligation, it's something we want to do. Ladies and gentlemen, this is why we create the podcast in every episode. It's something we want to do. We want to be helpful. Love naturally makes us want to support and uplift. A hand up, not a hand out. Those around us because we genuinely care about their well -being. Humility.
Love teaches us humility. reminds us that putting others first, recognizing our limits and staying open to learning are all part of being connected to something bigger than ourselves. Through love, we learn to stay grounded and focused on what really matters. Liz, I could go through the rest of the H's with ease, but what I want everybody to understand is that love is in humor. Love is in the holistic mindset. Love is in honesty.
Love is inhumanity by all that is holy. my God. And holiness. you can't have a conversation about holiness and have some level of love. I don't care if you're Muslim, Islamic, Christian. Like, there are fundamental elements in there. Like, in a spiritual sense, love often feels sacred. It guides our
actions and intentions. It helps us live with purpose and stay aligned with higher principles. Love inspires us to connect with something bigger, whether that's through faith, spirituality, or deep respect for the world, the universe around us. like,
George B. Thomas (01:04:17.036)
Love is everything. Love is everywhere. It's our relationship that we have to lean in and focus on what part are we willing to play with it and in it.
Liz Moorehead (01:04:35.971)
Well, you already started kind of answering this, but I am curious, particularly since it wasn't that long ago that we had this conversation where you and I were both like, well, yeah, we don't want to sound like hippies. would really, we would really, hard pass, right? We would really, and no offense to hippies, guys had great music in the 60s, no joke.
George B. Thomas (01:04:45.965)
Yeah.
Yeah.
George B. Thomas (01:04:53.376)
Yo, listen, my mom is like, she's very much kind of that hippie person.
Liz Moorehead (01:05:01.719)
Yeah, because even think about it. Let's think about it. Like, we don't want to be hippies, but if you actually sit down and think, hippies are really nice. Really good. Exactly. But we don't want to be them. So this is what's so fascinating about this. This whole conversation is we've basically been sitting here like, we are the biggest champions of love. Do not tell anyone. You know?
George B. Thomas (01:05:07.148)
Man, good people, by the way.
George B. Thomas (01:05:19.426)
Well, but here's the thing, here's the thing. Because we don't want to admit that we have judged them for being who they are and therefore we won't be like them even if we think they're cool in fear that others will judge us for being who we are.
Liz Moorehead (01:05:43.543)
You're just gonna break my brain like that. You're gonna break my brain like that while we're live recording. That's, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. I will not hold this against you forever. It's fine.
George B. Thomas (01:05:46.904)
This is the paradox we're in. This is the paradox that most humans live in.
George B. Thomas (01:05:55.746)
Just the rest of the day.
Liz Moorehead (01:05:57.453)
Just the rest of day and into eternity, it's fine. So what's fascinating about this conversation though is that it wasn't that long ago. The conversation you and I had where you said you can't say love is the reason for everything, you can't just say that and when we pushed we were both like, well we don't wanna look like hippies, we don't wanna look uncool, right? That was literally two weeks ago, right? So you and I have now done an abrupt about face in some ways. We showed up to the mic today.
George B. Thomas (01:06:00.115)
okay, so not forever.
George B. Thomas (01:06:13.74)
Yeah. Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (01:06:25.793)
ready to have this conversation.
George B. Thomas (01:06:27.788)
Well, I made myself mad.
Liz Moorehead (01:06:30.423)
You made yourself Matt.
George B. Thomas (01:06:31.574)
I made myself mad. I was mad that I even said that and I was mad that I wasn't willing to not show up as a hippie, not show up as a Christian Jesus freak, but I was mad because I wasn't willing to show up as George.
Liz Moorehead (01:06:45.315)
Hmm?
George B. Thomas (01:06:46.422)
And this conversation is a George conversation. This conversation is a Liz conversation. This conversation is a Bob, a Jenny, a Susie. I can't list out all the names that are out there in the world. This is a you freaking conversation.
Liz Moorehead (01:07:02.915)
So how do you want people to think about love differently? How can we make love cool again?
George B. Thomas (01:07:07.884)
Yeah, well first of all, realize it's a you conversation and you need to be cool. So freaking embrace love. But going deeper than that, I want people to look at love as, and again, we've kind of alluded to this, but you gotta look at love as an active practice. Think of action and choice. get past all the things that we've talked about. Love is.
not just about feeling warm and fuzzy. It's about what you do every day across different traditions. If you really dig into this and start to do some studying on the types of love that we mentioned, across different traditions, love is described as something you practice through acts of kindness, helping others, showing compassion, being loyal. Love is an action.
It's about how you care for humans and how you take on your responsibilities and how you show up even when it's tough. Love isn't just a feeling. It's a choice that we get the opportunity to make every single day as long as we're not six feet under the ground. So what choice, what actions
What way will you show up today? I want people to look at love as something to help them be rooted in compassion and understanding. By the way, at the core of all of the teachings, Muslim, Christian, Islamic, Buddhism, at the core of all of these teachings is the idea that love is all about compassion, empathy,
and wanting the best for others. The funny thing about this journey beyond your default life is when you actually want the best for others, the best for you shows up at your front door. When we try to truly understand people, even those who are, and you've met them, they might be your family members, they might be your friends, but especially those people who are hard to love.
George B. Thomas (01:09:29.634)
We build stronger connections and we create a more peaceful world. Ladies and gentlemen, if there's something that we need in our culture today, it's just for it to be a little bit more peaceful and less chaotic. And I want people to look at love as the foundation of community and maybe even a lever or gauge for justice.
Like love isn't just something that exists between individuals. It also is about how we treat our communities. And Liz, you know, like for years now, I've been focused on community and community building in the different spaces that I'm in the HubSpot ecosystem. Now the beyond your default, you know, do a better like it's about community. It's about a collective. It's about creating a mini society.
And when love drives us to seek justice, equity, equality, collective well -being, we help build a more compassionate and dare I say fair society slash community slash circle, group O humans that we hang out with.
I want to inject in the brains, the minds, the souls, the spirits, the hearts of the listeners that when we think about love, I want us to think about devotion and loyalty. One thing that you will find out about me and I would say Liz and also probably the people that we hang out with is that we have a loyalty to a fault.
If you are my ride or die, if I am Toretto, trust me, you are with me till the end. And so that's because of this foundational love. And again, let's go out of the Fast and Furious reference and talk about traditions of the world. If most of the traditions highlight love as a deep, enduring commitment.
George B. Thomas (01:11:54.188)
whether it's to your family, your community, or something greater than yourself. The kind of love isn't just about, again, the way you feel. It's about sticking by the people, sticking by the values that you actually care about. It's the kind of commitment that brings stability and purpose to our lives.
George B. Thomas (01:12:27.32)
kind of do this funny thing where at the end of the episode I go, living a life beyond your default. What I want people to realize is when I talk about that, I'm really talking about a pathway to inner peace and fulfillment.
The only way that you live a life beyond your default, the only way that you walk a path to inner peace and fulfillment,
George B. Thomas (01:12:55.136)
It's by loving yourself, loving others. And we've kind of alluded or poked at this or even blatantly said it through this podcast. Loving others isn't just good for them. It's good for them, don't get me wrong. But it's essential for your own sense of peace and happiness. Buddhism teaches us that by practicing compassion and letting go of selfish desires,
that we can find inner harmony. Likewise, the Christian faith and Islamic teaching suggest that living a life of love brings us closer to our true purpose and leads to a deeper sense of contentment than material success ever could. Liz, the foundational elements
If you think about what I just said of the 10H framework, the superhuman framework, love, purpose, passion, persistence, like these are all built into and out of like just these core elements and essence.
I need people to quit looking in the carnival fun mirror. I need people to quit believing or idolizing these abstract ideas of love.
George B. Thomas (01:14:30.87)
Love equals meaningful. Love means connected. Love means a fulfilling life.
Liz Moorehead (01:14:48.161)
I was a little disappointed when you said let's move away from the fast and furious stuff, but I also, I understand. Okay, so George, if someone were to take one thing away from this episode, what would it be?
George B. Thomas (01:14:53.132)
Yeah.
George B. Thomas (01:14:59.478)
Yeah, by the way, I'm super curious what your one thing is going to be. My one thing would be.
I'm cheating. I'm going to do two things. So first of all, I would beg that your goal would be for a gap. I know, I know you can call me the principal's office after I stop the recording. My my my thing here would be I would hope that in the next thing that I'm about to say that you are chasing a gap a love I would I would beg you to focus on a gap a the selfless the ultra. I would beg you.
Liz Moorehead (01:15:16.535)
George.
George B. Thomas (01:15:39.628)
to focus on agape, right? The selfless love, the love that is extended to all people, the love that is focused on compassion and commitment, that's focused on wellbeing of yourself and others. Now, if that's the direction that you're headed, the next thing that I would just say is make it a daily practice. Make love.
an intentional daily practice.
Love is not just something that happens. Love is something that we actively choose.
So as a daily practice, incorporate love into your routines. This might be kindness. This might be offering support. This might be just taking time to be present.
for others. But trust me, when love becomes a habit, it shapes not only your relationship,
George B. Thomas (01:16:57.196)
but also your character and your outlook on life.
If you can change your outlook, you will change your outcome. Liz, what's your one takeaway?
Liz Moorehead (01:17:21.219)
Well, George, I have 15, so buckle up, buttercup. Now, life gets infinitely more fun when you stop worrying about whether or not something is cool or uncool. Whether that's love or the things that you love. Right? Half the time, whether we're talking about love or something else that we're worried about,
seeming uncool, worried about being judged, which means we are dimming our light, which means we are not willing to show our true selves to ourselves or to anybody else, because we believe that who we are as we are is not enough or is too much or will not fit in or da da da da da da da da. Right? The moment we shine as brightly as possible with love.
with excitement for things like Fast and Furious movies. Love them forever. By the way, I have some bad news for you. They've delayed the release of the last movie until 2026. Yeah, I saw that and I just went, huh, I hate that. I hate that for all of us. Vin Diesel, you are robbing us of your art. Come on, Although there is a rumor John Cena's gonna be back.
George B. Thomas (01:18:28.115)
no! I don't love that.
George B. Thomas (01:18:42.936)
Okay. And the rock? Anyway, not why we're here.
Liz Moorehead (01:18:44.223)
I know. I know.
Yeah, the rock. It's supposed to be about him.
George B. Thomas (01:18:52.064)
Okay, now, now, yeah, yeah, now we're getting somewhere. Okay.
Liz Moorehead (01:18:53.015)
You remember the after credit scene? Okay, all right, so think about it this way. I love watching people light up when they finally remove the trappings of what they believe they need to show up as. And those moments where you start watching people talk about what they love and who they love and they're doing so in such a way that you can tell they don't have that doubt or fear.
They feel psychologically safe to love whatever it is and whoever it is that they love. It is incredible. People fundamentally change. They talk with their whole body. They smile with their whole body. They become love personified.
And you know what? Here's what will tell you. Stop worrying about being cool or uncool because there are always gonna be people who think you're uncool. But them thinking you're uncool is more about rejecting a part of themselves than it is about rejecting you.
George B. Thomas (01:20:01.073)
Ooh. Mm, don't kick puppies.
Liz Moorehead (01:20:01.143)
because think about the times, George, in your life where you've looked at someone and went, ugh, unless they were kicking puppies, in which case, F them, don't kick puppies. think about where people are being unabashed about who they are, what they are, who they love, what they love, and you're just, huh. Part of that has to do is we kinda wish we could be like them. Maybe not exactly like them. Maybe we don't love the same things.
George B. Thomas (01:20:24.304)
Hmm
Liz Moorehead (01:20:30.861)
But we envy their ability to just be out there and themselves.
You're not for everybody, nor should you be. That's why it's called the one, not many ones. You know, that's why it's your tribe, not all peoples all the time.
George B. Thomas (01:20:44.876)
Hmm.
Yeah.
Liz Moorehead (01:20:52.117)
Anyway, be uncool. It's all right. It's fun over here. It's way more fun.
George B. Thomas (01:20:58.444)
Heh.
Yeah. Yeah, listeners, here's the deal. I love that. Don't be all things to all people because you can't be. But here's the thing. Let your light shine. I swear to God, don't you dare dim it. Be cool, by the way, and lead with love, because that truly is the cool factor. And being able to enable yourself to lead with love. And then the only thing left to do is go out there.
Liz Moorehead (01:21:02.659)
That's my thought.
George B. Thomas (01:21:30.848)
and live a life beyond your default.